This morning began like any other Friday morning during the school year. Jerry and I arose early and prepared Courtney for school. He dressed for work, I to workout. We put a very happy young lady on the school bus, and went our separate ways. As I was huffing and puffing on the exercise bike, halfway through my 40 minutes of mandatory cardio, my cell phone rings.
It was Courtney's school. They had just administered Ativan to stop an almost ten minute seizure. Did I want them to call the EMT's? I asked the pertinent questions about breathing patterns and suctioning, both being answered favorably. She was going to be OK, so I told them to hold off on the ambulance, I would be there right away.
I did not panic. I was not upset that my workout would be interrupted (seriously not upset AT ALL!). I have come to recognize in the past several years, that when my day takes a turn for whatever reason away from my organized little world, God is offering me an opportunity for grace.
In an instant, everything falls away and only what is truly important is left standing. I began to pray that God and His Blessed Mother will hold my daughter until I can hold her. I pray that Our Lord will breathe for her if she cannot. I pray for peace of heart and strength of will, to be able to handle with grace whatever I find when I get to the school. I praise God for the school nurse Laurie, and her teacher Betsy. I pray that they remain calm and focused to help her, to do what I would do and say what I would say, until I can do it myself. I place my complete faith and trust in God, whatever the outcome. I do this every single time she seizes and I am grateful to God for the opportunity to draw close to Him, to cling to Him through it all.
With Courtney, so many things can change in an instant and I forget that sometimes while living my everyday life. It's mornings like this that remind me in a 2x4 kind of whack upside the head way, that all that matters are the three people that God has placed in my life to care for and to love unconditionally.
Courtney is fine. She is sleeping peacefully in her own bed, surrounded by the familiar. She is loved and cared for. She is not alone in her walk. No, I won't be vacuuming anything while she sleeps. No, I won't be sewing anything or making a racket of any kind. I will finish my workout, later when she wakes up. We will go and take a long walk enjoying this beautiful almost fall day. Some errands will have to be run later this evening after J is home, but that's OK. God is calling me to be patient and rely on Him for the timing of my day. I will be quiet and listen to the beautiful sound of rhythmic breathing, praising God all the while for the miracle of this child. I will take advantage of this opportunity for grace.
PS. Here is my sleeping miracle, with her favorite stuffed animal, a turtle named Crush. It was given to her by her big brother and is never far away from her. I am so blessed!
Labels: Courtney's World, My Crazy Life