Last night I had the privilege of spending a few hours with about 30 high school youth from my parish for praise and worship adoration. This is when our Eucharistic Lord is present and we lift each other up in prayer and song praising God for all the good work He has and will continue to do in us. We lay down our burdens before Him and wait to hear Him whisper in the silence of our hearts. It is always a wonderful time spent focusing on what is really important in life and that's our walk with Christ.
I am not the holiest person in the world. I know that many people have this impression but believe me when I say...not so much! I still struggle with having a defined personal prayer time everyday. I have trouble focusing at times on reading books about God and the saints or scripture regularly. My mind wanders at Mass and during Holy hour. I sin everyday, many, many many times. I am far from perfect and I know that it will take the rest of my life to try to get it right. But I am willing to try even if I fail.
Last night I was convicted by my tremendous lack of faith in God when it comes to my personal dreams. I trust Him completely with my children, my marriage but my writing or my dream of being published well that's just selfish and not very important in the grand scheme of life. I mean really, I laugh at the arrogance of it. Who am I to tell God what He can or cannot do? Seriously...
As I was lifting my hands in praise I remembered the following Psalm that one of the evenings speakers had quoted:
"Delight yourself in the LORD;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it."
How true is this psalm? If we give Him the desires of our heart, trust that He knows what's best for us and commit our lives to Him, He will always be faithful. He will make all our dreams come true. Here comes the hard part. We have to actually BELIEVE what He is saying to us. I mean really BELIEVE it without doubt or reservation. I know that God has placed a desire in me to write about Him and the miracles He has wrought in mine and my families life. I know it deep down in my heart. Why do I doubt that if it's His will, it will come to pass? Why do I try to put God in my human box? He is so much bigger than that. I need to EXPECT GREAT THINGS from my Lord and Saviour. He wants to do great things in me and for me. I just need to open my mind and my heart to allow this transformation in Christ to continue.
Below is a video of a fabulous new Christian artist named Kari Jobe. Her music is inspiring and thought provoking. Her voice is what I think angels sound like, soft and lyrical. The song "Beautiful" is how I feel when I kneel in Adoration. God is so beautiful and what He wants for us is more than we could ever imagine. So take a chance and give Him the deepest desires of your heart, pray and watch how He will transform you! As Kari's lyrics say:
"Here, before Your altar,
I am letting go of all I've held
of every motive, every burden,
everything that's of myself.
and I just wanna wait on You my God
I just wanna dwell on who You are."
Labels: We Can Do This!!