small enough...

There are times when I struggle in my prayer life wondering if God really hears me. I am not so important after all. There are greater needs in the world than mine. It is in these moments that doubt begins to creep in. Does He know how important His answer is? Does He know how much I love Him? How much I fear Him? There are times when I have not wanted to face Him because of my misdeeds, hiding my heart like a small child who knows they have done something wrong. Silly for a grown woman I know, but true nonetheless. Can He be small enough to hear me now?

St. Therese said we must come to the Father as a small child loving Him with all we have.
You know well enough that Our Lord does not look so much at the greatness of our actions, nor even at their difficulty, but at the love with which we do them.”
St. Therese of Lisieux

Jesus is the source of that love, freely given without reservation or hesitation but always with the invitation to love Him right back no matter what. His grace flows forth in abundance washing over me and cleansing me of all my sins. So I work to sweep that sin and doubt away each day and pray for help with my unbelief.

And then He comes and sits with me awhile...

He fills my heart with peace and understanding of who He is. I know He knows who I am, that He loves me where I am, for He made me AS I am. He is small enough to hear my pleas. He is here with me holding me as I weep, rocking me in my worry. He parts the sea so I have a clear path to Him. He sits patiently waiting for me clear my mind and heart of any question, any frustration, always my Father listening and reassuring me that He will not leave me even in my darkest moment. Slowly, my confidence is once again restored and I am refreshed, ready to go forth and complete the plans He has for me, whatever they may be.

He is here, small enough to hear you and me and BIG enough to love us no matter what!

Small Enough
written and sung by Nichole Nordeman

oh, great god, be small enough to hear me now
there were times when i was crying
from the dark of daniel's den
and i have asked you once or twice
if you would part the sea again
but tonight i do not need a fiery pillar in the sky
just wanna know you're gonna hold me if i start to cry
oh, great god, be small enough to hear me now

oh, great god, be close enough to feel you now
there have been moments when i could not
face goliath on my own
and how could i forget we've marched around
our share of jerichos
but i will not be setting out a fleece for you tonight
just wanna know that everything will be alright
oh great god, be close enough to feel you now

all praise and all honor be
to the god of ancient mysteries
whose every sign and wonder turn the pages of our history
but tonight my heart is heavy
and i cannot keep from whispering this prayer
"are you there?"

and i know you could leave writing on the wall
thats just for me
or send wisdom while i'm sleeping,
like in soloman's sweet dreams
but i don't need the strength of samson
or a chariot in the end
just want to know that you still know how many hairs
are on my head
oh great god, be small enough to hear me now

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