"Recently my daughter was hospitalized with the swine flu. She was placed in isolation and because of her profound special needs I went with her. Over the course of 48 hours God gently led me through a forest of doubt and fear into a splendid garden of grace and peace.
Sometimes God allows a situation in your life that gives you no choice but to live hour by hour. While Courtney was fighting to get her breath in those first hours of hospitalization my entire focus was on keeping her calm and letting her know she was not alone. I climbed into the most uncomfortable hospital bed and held her for hours. I prayed, sang to her and rocked my girl. I watched her chest tug and pull with every effort. I gave her back to God in those moments.
Fear ruled those first few hours, fear of loss and unbelief that God had forsaken us and abandoned us in this sterile place. She had been through so much in these last few years. How much more was He going to allow in her life? Hadn’t she suffered enough? It’s funny how God gets our attention sometimes. As I held her that night I thought of the scene from The Passion of the Christ when Jesus is being scourged and Mary his mother says “How much more Lord?” In that moment Mary was with me holding us both with her mantle spread over us like a warm blanket. She knew the suffering of my girl. She knew the brokenness of my heart. She would not abandon us in that moment."
Labels: Courtney's World, My Crazy Life