blog time out...

Hi Everyone!

Thank yo so much for the birthday love! It was wonderful day! I will post pictures soon.

The blog will be quiet for the next week. Jerry and I are heading to the mountains of PA for a week with Christopher West and John Paul II's Theology of the Body. There is no internet or cell phones. Just Jesus and His plan for marraige.

I ask for your prayers this week as we go through this seminar. I can only imagine the fruits He has in store for J and I. After 21 years of wedded bliss, we are just beginning to understand the plan God has for our lives, so we go with open hearts and minds prepared to be changed. All for His glory and through His grace!

From there I will head straight to Franciscan University for Parent's Weekend with my son Jonathan. Can't wait to see his smiling face! I miss him! His socks...not so much!

See you next Sunday!!

Blessings and Grace,

Mary

7 quick takes friday (vol. 7) ~ the birthday edition!

Today is my 42nd Birthday!!! Yea!!! So, I thought I would celebrate and reminisce a bit about birthday's past and make a few resolutions for the coming year. Join me, won't you?

1.

Of all my birthday pictures growing up, this is one of my favorites. It's the only time in my life when a double chin, poochy belly, cottage cheese booty and thunder thighs were considered cute. Ahhhh to be ONE again!

2.

Speaking of body image...It's time. I must do better with my exercise and diet. Both my Grandmother's were gone by 75 from cancer and heart disease. So I have waisted enough time trying to deal with life emotionally through chocolate therapy. A new plan is on it's way!

3.

In my family of eight birthday's were a HUGE big honkin deal. We received gifts three times a year, birthday's, Christmas and our Easter baskets. That's it. No trips to Border's or Macy's other than for school clothes in September. We lived very frugally. Life was simple and full of adventure. Anyway, the BIG birthday's were when we turned 5, 13 and 18. On these years we got a big party or would do something extra special. When I was five, we had a clown that did balloon animals. Pretty cool. My favorite though was when I was 13. I had my first slumber party. It was a comedy of errors. Mom ordered a six foot sub from the deli and all my friends showed up with their new braces. No one could eat the bread. Then we watched Love Boat re-runs until late in the night and Mom forgot to get out the birthday cake. So at 2 am I snuck into my parent's room to get permission to have the cake. She was mortified that she forgotten the cake. My friends thought she was the coolest mother on the planet because we had ice cream cake at 2 am. Then we sprayed my brothers with perfume while they slept. Awesome! I was popular for a whole week after that!

4.

When I was 16, my parents financial situation was very tenuous. Major repairs to the house, a new "used" car, braces etc. had tapped them out. There was no money for gifts that year. Mom was very creative. She decided to go with humor so she gave "gag" gifts. I got a PacMan necklace from a cereal box and a "parasol" umbrella. Most of my friends were getting flowers delivered to school and new cars. I was mortified that Mom thought this was a time to be "funny". I had no idea about the financial crunch. My parents protected us from that. They wanted us to be children as long as possible. I was so hurt and angry, I ran to my room and cried my eyes out. I cringe when I think of how selfish I was. Mom came to my room later that evening with another present in her hands. She sat on my bed and slipped a box into my hands.

She said with tears in her eyes "You left the table before you opened all your gifts. I know that this was not the birthday you wanted but it's the best I could give you. I hope that one day you will look back on this day with fondness. I love you Mary Beth more than any gift could ever express. This is from me to my eldest daughter, my first little girl. Wear it well."

She hugged me and left. I carefully opened up the box and inside was a sterling silver bracelet with an intricate lace pattern woven between two solid rims. It took my breath away. It was stunning! Inside the box there was a note. It read:

"To my dearest daughter Marianne. This bracelet reminded me of you, delicate yet strong. May your 16th birthday bring you as much joy as you have brought your Father and I.

With our deepest Love,

Mother and Dad

April 2, 1956"

It was my Mother's, given to her on her 16th birthday by my Grandparents. It was so beautiful. I couldn't believe that Mom thought I was "old" enough to wear something so special. I rushed to the kitchen and hugged my Mom thanking her. She took my face in her hands and told me that today I became a young lady and I was both "delicate and strong". I wear it every year on my birthday. It reminds me of my parents great self-sacrifice and unconditional love for me even in the most difficult years.

5.

When I turned 18, it was legal to drink in DC. So my Father drove me into the city and took me to dinner. He purchased my first drink for me, a white wine spritzer. I know, gutsy first drink!. I felt like such a grown-up. I thought that I would never love any man as much as I would love my Dad. And yes, I still drink white wine spritzers...and Margarita's... and lemon drop martinis.

6.

The first time I ever received flowers was on my 20th birthday. My soon to be husband sent 20 long stem red roses to my home accompanied by the most beautiful poem. I wept. I couldn't believe anyone would care for me enough to be so extravagant. My husband continue that tradition to this day. Each birthday no matter what our financial situation there are flowers and a love letter. I am blessed indeed.

7.

The first time my children brought me "breakfast in bed" for my birthday, the plate contained blue pancakes, runny eggs, chopped banana's and a birthday crown made with glue and glitter. They sang "Happy Birfday" loudly and off key. I had never seen or heard anything so wonderful in my life. Jonathan was four and Courtney had just turned one. They sat on the bed with me and we ate our scrumptious yummies. What a memory!

This years celebration will be another for the memory books. With a call from #1 son in Ohio, surrounded by my honey, my daughter, my best friend and her family, I know there will be awesome food, raucous laughter and many new memories. I can't wait!

For more 7 Quick Takes Friday inspiration, check out Jennifer's Conversion Diary.

Blessings and Grace,

Mary

small successes (vol.8)...

"It’s important for moms to recognize that all the small successes in our days can add up to one big triumph. So on Thursday of each week, we do exactly that. "

So I missed last week since I was prepping for the Girls Confirmation Retreat. It was a fabulous weekend filled with lots of Jesus moments. Thanks so much for your prayers. Now on to my successes. They are small indeed this week. I am taking Mother Theresa's advice "Do small things with GREAT love."

1. I have gotten back to my 5 am morning routine. Things have gone better. If I could figure out how to include exercise life would be perfect.

2. I have kept the upstairs office uncluttered for TWO whole weeks! It has been a challenge but I have done it. It makes me happy to walk in there and see an organized clean space. Yea Me!

3. I sent my third care package to J in Ohio. I have tried to be encouraging and not HOVER. It is so hard sometimes, but necessary for every one's mental health. I am still praying to St. Joseph for J and he is trying to step out of his comfort zone. He even went to a dance on campus. Woohoo! An answer to prayer indeed!

That's it for me this week. Go and check out other small successes at Faith and Family LIVE! You will be inspired!

Blessings and Grace,

Mary

barefoot bloggers ~ Beatty's Chocolate Cake

So this weeks Barefoot Bloggers recipe was chosen by ME!!! I have been so excited to make this recipe. I read a bunch of online reviews that talked about how moist and light the cake was. So I gave it a dry run last week and the results were not so good. I was so surprised. The batter ran over the edges of the pan and made a mess in the oven. So the second time I used a slightly larger pan and it happened again. I checked and double checked the measurements and ingredients and tried again. Same results...I was stumped.

Since a layer cake was obviously not in my future, I took the remnants of the third try and got creative. Ladies and gentleman introducing...the Trifle! That's right, combine a little chocolate pudding, crumbled cake and top with whipped cream and chocolate chips and we have a delightful desert to celebrate my birthday. Yea!! Passionate Perseverance People! That's the name of the game. Never give up when chocolate is on the line.

I have included the recipe for the cake below. It also has the frosting recipe which I have made before and is delish. This is my first Barefoot Bloggers blunder. No worries though...I trust Ina and I look forward to next months selections! Bake on friends!

Bon Appetite!

Mary

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beatty's Chocolate Cake

                                              Barefoot Contessa at Home

Ingredients:

Butter, for greasing the pans

1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for pans

2 cups sugar

3/4 cups good cocoa powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1 cup buttermilk, shaken

1/2 cup vegetable oil

2 extra-large eggs, at room temperature

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1 cup freshly brewed hot coffee

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Butter 2 (8-inch) round cake pans. Line with parchment paper, then butter and flour the pans.Sift the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment and mix on low speed until combined. In another bowl, combine the buttermilk, oil, eggs, and vanilla. With the mixer on low speed, slowly add the wet ingredients to the dry. With mixer still on low, add the coffee and stir just to combine, scraping the bottom of the bowl with a rubber spatula. Pour the batter into the prepared pans and bake for 35 to 40 minutes, until a cake tester comes out clean. Cool in the pans for 30 minutes, then turn them out onto a cooling rack and cool completely.Place 1 layer, flat side up, on a flat plate or cake pedestal. With a knife or offset spatula, spread the top with frosting. Place the second layer on top, rounded side up, and spread the frosting evenly on the top and sides of the cake.

Chocolate Frosting:

6 ounces good semisweet chocolate (recommended: Callebaut)

1/2 pound (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature

1 extra-large egg yolk, at room temperature

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1 1/4 cups sifted confectioners' sugar

1 tablespoon instant coffee powder

Chop the chocolate and place it in a heat-proof bowl set over a pan of simmering water. Stir until just melted and set aside until cooled to room temperature.In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, beat the butter on medium-high speed until light yellow and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the egg yolk and vanilla and continue beating for 3 minutes. Turn the mixer to low, gradually add the confectioners' sugar, then beat at medium speed, scraping down the bowl as necessary, until smooth and creamy. Dissolve the coffee powder in 2 teaspoons of the hottest tap water. On low speed, add the chocolate and coffee to the butter mixture and mix until blended. Don't whip! Spread immediately on the cooled cake.

are gnats considered protein?

Just in case you thought that the Confirmation Retreat last weekend was one HUGE Jesus moment, I thought I would share a few other little tidbits from the weekend.

1. Are gnats considered protien?

It has been a long time since I have had to deal with gnats. I'm thinking the last time was the summer of '92 when I was pregnant with Court and we lived in Maine. The gnat's were insane that summer. I walked around with this clouds of them swirling around my head. Ugh! This past weekend I had several nasty flashbacks. I swallowed so many of them, I am sure it would have qualified for a low carb lunch. Ick! I hate gnats!

2. Do 13 year old girls EVER sleep?

By midnight Saturday I could not keep my eyes open without great effort. Lights out had been an hour earlier and the team leaders were exhausted. Giggling could still be heard in my cabin and my patience was beginning to run thin. Yes, I know it was an awesome night. Yes, I knew that the girls were wound tighter than yo-yo and absolutely thrilled to be together but I was so very, very tired. Finally after threatening to separate the next giggling clutch I heard...silence reigned down. AHHH Bliss. So why did it take me another 45 minutes to go to sleep? That devil is a sneaky guy...

3. Sunday morning came way too quickly for me and as I was standing under a very hot shower (thank you Jesus for that gift) I realized that I forgot shampoo and soap. So I looked around the teeny tiny bathroom and all I saw was the Soft-Soap on the sink and quickly grabbed it. I was a little nervous because I have very sensitive skin and break out easily. I had an event to attend that afternoon and didn't need to be blotchy or red. So, I prayed over the soap. Yep, I prayed over it, while standing in the shower. I didn't break out, however my hair did not react well. Frizz is evil but not the end of the world.

4. Last note...you should never look over the edge of the mountain to admire the waterfall while driving. It may cause your passengers to scream jolting you into overcorrecting the car almost taking out a jack rabbit crossing the road.

It was a great weekend all in all. I am blessed to have been asked to be a part of it.

Blessings,

Mary

adoring...

This past weekend we had an awesome opportunity for adoration on Saturday night. The team had prepared the girls for this encounter with our Eucharistic Lord through a series of talks, small group discussions and reflections. They had been to confession that afternoon and most were in a place of peace and joy. Many of these young woman have not been exposed to Adoration. I am so thankful to our pastor for re-introducing it to our community of faith. We now have morning adoration three days a week. It has brought an abundance of graces to our parish.

Before going into the chapel the compound was filled with giggling, flying frisbees, quiet conversations of small groups discussing everything from teachers, parents, and the play tryouts next week. The sun was beginning to make it's way west and the dusk of early evening had begun to fall. So we gathered the girls and into the chapel where our fabulous musician was playing softly and Father stood towards the back of the chapel with his head bowed in prayer.

The girls filed in. Candles were lit and the church was filled with a soft lovely glow. The retreat leader then explained what was going to happen next...adoration and the opportunity for the girls to be prayed over.

Now I have been prayed over before and it is a very powerful experience. Words of knowledge can sometimes be spoken. Whenever I am asked to pray over someone, I immediately call upon the Holy Spirit for His assistance, always making sure my head and heart are free and open to God's whispers.

Adoration began and the musician played a series of praise and worship songs. As I looked around at the many responses to Our Lords presence, I was struck by the sense of peace I was feeling. God was in the House and the time had come for the altar call. I went forward kneeling before My King and began praying for whoever God was going to bring forth. I was blessed to pray over many young woman that night. There were those that needed encouragement, healing, compassion and a listening heart. It was very powerful and I am so grateful to God for allowing me that privilege.

Then it was time for the Eucharistic Procession. Father told the girls the story of the woman of great faith who reached and touched Jesus garment knowing He would heal her. He encouraged them to do the same as he walked past with Our Lord. The musician and singers began to sing Watermarks "Captivated" and I was so moved. I watched Father bring the monstrance in front of each one of the girls allowing them to touch Our Lord. Tears come to my eyes even now, just thinking about it. The love in their eyes, the humility and timidness, the innocence, was breathtaking to behold. There were tears, smiles, bows, and kisses. So much grace flowed forth from Our Beloved.

I challenged some of my girls earlier in the day to think of themselves as pitchers of water pouring themselves out for their family and friends. But what would happen when the pitcher was empty? Who would fill them up? The only well that never dries up is that of Christ. He will fill them with all the love the ever need. I watched that night as understanding dawned on their faces, as the love of God flowed freely infusing them with all they would need to come down the mountain and face the world once more.

Later that evening during our final small group one young lady relayed this story. I have changed the names for privacy.

Me: So what did you think about Adoration? (looking around the table) Did anything special come to mind?

Matilda: Miss Mary, something weird happened and I am not sure what to think about it.

Me: What happened?

Matilda: Well, before I came on retreat, my best friend and I got into a huge fight and stopped being friends. I felt betrayed and lost. I was praying tonight, really hard and well I think I got my words mixed up.

Me: How so?

Matilda: Well, I kept telling Jesus that I missed Amy. I really missed her. I just wanted my friend back. So I just kept saying, "I miss Amy. I miss Amy." Then I mixed up my words and it came out "I miss Jesus. I miss Jesus." What does that mean?

Me: (taking her hands in mine) Sweetie, you didn't mix up your words. You were just introduced to the only friend who will never betray you or leave you. He will never disappoint or abandon. Sometimes, God allows things to happen in our life so that we will cling to Him. Jesus will be everything that Amy cannot be right now. A unfailing friend for life. That is awesome!

Matilda: (smiling) Wow! That is cool! So what do I do now?

Me: You keep talking to Him. You keep those lines of communication open, always. He will help you with your friendship with Amy. He will guide that healing if it is His will. He will be there for you Matilda, through everything. Don't ever forget that. (hugs exchanged)

What else can I say? Jesus did His job that night and changed a young woman's heart forever.

We adore you O Christ and we praise you. Because by your Holy Cross You have redeemed the world.

May He praised and glorified now and forever!

Blessings and grace,

Mary

first thoughts...

My HEART is so full of God's wonder this morning. I have so many thoughts and memories swimming around in my mind, all spiritual results of one glorious weekend on a mountain with God, 43 eighth grade girls and the woman chosen to lead them to into an encounter with Him.

I was struck by the UNIQUENESS of each soul present as well as the delicate nature of a young woman's spirit. As I looked around this weekend I witnessed the overabundance of God's GRACE spilling forth from every single woman attending, whether they were 13 or 43, leader or retreatant, each called forth for a reason. God placed them in a specific small group for a specific purpose, one that I might never get to know in this lifetime. This is one of the joys and frustrations of Youth Ministry. You must be prepared to give everything you have knowing that you may never see the results. It's not about me or what I think should happen. Only God is privy to all.

The young woman that Our Lord placed in my care had such different gifts and personalities. They reminded me of bugs with a hard exterior shell protecting them from the worlds hurt and pain. However if you turn them a certain way, their soft underbelly shows allowing their hearts to be easily pierced. My job was to give them every opportunity to meet the Living God. To turn them toward the GRACE He had waiting for them. It was not easy...but Passionate Perseverance is the name of the game. The ability to listen and really HEAR them as they struggled to understand, to FORGIVE, to TRUST, to LOVE in a new way. It is a wonder to behold these sweet innocent hearts so filled with confusion and uncertainty of where their life is going and trying to figure out where God is leading them. I remember that time in my own life so well. In the end God always shows up and blows them away!

It is a HUGE privilege to watch a young woman fall in love with Jesus for the first time. To watch a new relationship begin with the one friend who will never leave their side. I now have five new spiritual daughters to pray for each day. I pray that the Holy Spirit will continue to fall upon each of them renewing their commitment to God the Father, by loving and serving Him, by trusting Him with their hearts and minds, with their futures.

I have been abundatly blessed to be a witness to HOPE. To be a witness to the FUTURE of the church. God is GOOD...ALL THE TIME!

home again...

I have come down from the mountain. God is so good! So much to process...thank you for your prayers. I look forward to sharing pieces and parts of this amazing retreat weekend this week.

Right now I am going to take a loonngg hot shower and sleep...Blessings,

Mary

cover me in prayers...pretty please...

Dear Friends,

I humble ask for your prayers this weekend. I am on team for our parishes girls Confirmation Retreat. Forty-three eighth grade girls in the splendor of the Shenandoah mountains preparing to receive the sacrament. Please pray for the team and the priests guiding us this weekend. Pray for patience and perseverance for all of us.

I ask for prayers of protection for Courtney and Jerry for the next three days. Also please say a quick prayer for Jonathan who is taking a huge leap for him on Friday and attending his first college mixer. He is a nervous wreck and could use some prayers for courage and grace.

I will be checking back in on Sunday evening. I look forward to participating in "7 Quick Takes" and "Show Me Your Life" again next week.

Blessings and Grace,

Mary

small successes (vol.7)...

"It’s important for moms to recognize that all the small successes in our days can add up to one big triumph. So on Thursday of each week, we do exactly that. "

1.

I have cooked out of the freezer/pantry for the past week. It has forced me to think outside the box and be a bit more creative but that is not a bad thing. It's been fun to come up with new frugal ideas. So far there has been only one true disaster that required the windows to be opened. Lesson learned. Brussels sprouts need to be treated with kids gloves.

2.

I tried to be better prepared each day this week by setting out clothing and other necessaries the night before. I used to do this all the time when I was homeschooling but had gotten out of the habit since Jonathan left for college. It has brought a sense of peace back to my morning.

3.

Had a really good conversation with said son. He has a more positive attitude this week. I am sure it is partly a result of the St. Joseph Novena I am saying. The power of prayer should never be underestimated! That and a really good care package from home doesn't hurt. ;0)

To be further inspired by other successes check out Faith and Family LIVE!

Blessings and Grace,

Mary

how do I know???

How do I know that I will be on retreat this weekend???

1. Things break...the more expensive the better chance of breakage...

One of my husbands "spiritual bruises" is money. It's where the deceiver gets him every single time. When I am getting ready for retreat things always begin to break the week before stressing him out thinking about replacement and repair costs. Yesterday was no exception when a metal part on my serger just sheared right off mid project. So frustrating. I, in turn, must pray even harder that Our lord surrounds his heart with peace and calm. Will you join me in praying for him?

2. Chaos pushes out quiet...

I have been trying to wake at 5 am each day to insure quiet prayer time, to settle my mind and my heart preparing to serve however I need to that day. This week I have had meetings every night so far and have not been getting to bed early enough, thereby not getting up at the appointed time. This has created much more chaos in my world both physical and spiritual and has left me wanting quiet. So I resolve this day to seek quiet in front of our Eucharistic Lord pushing back the demon nipping at my heals. Will you pray for me?

3. Oversensitivity 101...

Whenever I am preparing for retreat, whether it be a personal, youth ministry, or confirmation retreat, my emotions become tender flowers easily bruised by those around me. I read too much into every situation and I become an oversensitive pin cushion, feeling each prick like a pierce through my heart. I know that this is because of the challenges to my prayer time as well as me trying to decrease so God can increase. When preparing to serve God, I give my heart and mind over to Him so that He is the one who is speaking to the kids, not me. They are looking for Jesus and I am just an imperfect conduit. Would you join me in praying for the 46 young ladies who will be on their Confirmation retreat this weekend and the 20 team members who God has chosen to facilitate this awesome encounter with God?

Thank you for your prayers. They are precious gifts to me, my family, and my parish. God is preparing a powerful weekend for these young ladies. May I decrease so God can increase....ALWAYS!

Blessings and Grace,

Mary

feast of our lady of sorrows...

"The Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows is one that is close to my heart. I am constantly amazed that despite knowing what was coming, Mary continued to walk in faith by her Son’s side, even through the most difficult and painful part: His death on the Cross.

I embrace my Sorrowful Mother because I truly understand her pain. I presented my precious five week old daughter for baptism on Sunday, September 27, 1992. By that evening, she was in the Bethesda Naval Hospital PICU suffering from inexplicable seizures. I begged Our Lady to intercede for us to her Son, to allow our Courtney to remain with us, no matter what the path. Our Lord has honored that prayer more than once in the last 16 years, through many, many dark nights. I have repeatedly felt the loving arms of my Savior around me and I am grateful for it."

Read the rest here... new post is up @ Phases of Womanhood.

Stop by and spend a moment with me and Our Lady of Sorrows.

Blessings,

Mary

"take my life"...

This is my prayer for the day on this Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows:

Take My Life
Songwriters: Traditional; Giglio, Louie; Tomlin, Christopher D

Take my life and let it be
consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days,
let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move
at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be
swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice and let me sing
always, only for my King.
Take my lips and let them be
filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold
not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use
every power as You choose.

::Chorus::
Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, it's all for Thee.

Take my will and make it Thine
it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart it is Thine own
it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord I pour
at Your feet its treasure store
Take myself and I will be
ever, only, all for Thee.
Take myself and I will be
ever, only, all for Thee.

Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, it's all for Thee.
x3

(Take my life, Lord take my life. Take all of me)

Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, it's all for Thee.

::Repeated by crowd 5 X's::

living out loud...pt.2

Thanks to everyone who emailed me or left a comment on the last post. I agree that this was not a lady like conversation. I agree that it was inappropriate to even be discussing someone's personal choice in such a disrespectful manner. However, at that moment knowing the two individuals as well as I did, God pushed me forward in a way I have not experienced before. I prayed while the other two were talking. Quick urgent prayers for the right words. Do I get up and leave OR do I take the opportunity to be Christ to them...to meet them where they were?

So many things were swirling around my head but for the first time in my life, I was bold and faced the confrontation. Believe me when I say, it was the LAST thing I wanted to do. Hands shaking and stomach turning this was my response:

***warning: graphic language and yes I use a curse word. Please do not think any less of me. I was mad.

Me - (hands in the air) Wait one second! Hold the phone! Your telling me that you think Madame X would be a more creative writer if she just lost her virginity! If she just "got it out of the way". That's insane! She is a Christian. That's not part of her makeup. Changing her workout routine, learning a new hobby...those might shake it up a bit and help her with her writer's block. Sex? Your both crazy! (take long swig of margarita and think of ordering a second one)
Writer #1 - That's your Catholic conscience talking. Your not thinking about this clearly. Your imposing your moral code on someone else.
Me - You mean like your imposing yours on her? Wait one minute! Madame X is a Christian. She has maintained her virginity because she considers it a gift to be given to the man she is to commit her life to. Your telling me that she should just throw out everything she believes in to "release her inner creativity". Do you have any idea how this would destroy her and the very foundation she has built her life on? You guys are smoking something. This is just nuts. (begin another Hail Mary)

Writer #2 - What is the big deal? It's just sex! you have too many hang ups Mary. Seriously lighten up.

Me - (gloves are now off) That's enough ladies. Sex is sacred. It is between a husband, wife and their God. The only thing created is a child if He so wills it. It is the most intimate thing we can share with another human being. This is not something you just "do" to shake up your life. This is what Madame X believes...(still praying)

Writer #2 - Sex is an act Mary. It is not sacred. It is an act of empowerment and liberation. I am so tired of some man telling me that I can't do what I want to do when I want to do it.
Me - I could not disagree with you more strongly! Your telling me we are no more than dogs giving into out base feelings. Female empowerment my a**! What about those woman who give it all away and then they are left alone and destroyed by some lowlife who took advantage of their need for love and attention? What about them?
Writer #1 - They just need to be grown-ups about it. They made the choice.
Me - Well Madame X has made a choice as well. One that should be respected and not mocked. I feel so sorry for both of you. I wish more woman loved and respected themselves enough to be patient and wait for a sacred commitment, before giving away the most precious gift they have. It breaks my heart to see the destruction promiscuity brings to the lives of so many young women.

The conversation went on for another thirty minutes or so as we went back and forth about sex, morality and the "modern" woman. It was one of the most difficult discussions I have ever had. I was uncomfortable and felt completely unprepared.

Upon my return home I spoke at length with my spiritual advisor about the situation and my frustration with being the "token" Catholic within this group. I felt like I had a huge target on my back and was considering leaving the group. He simply looked at me smiled and said "Now you know how Jesus felt when they ridiculed Him and called Him a liar. Did He run away? Should you?"

Seriously! Can't a girl get some support for her own personal pity party?? This concept of living your faith "out loud" is not fun. I was NOT having fun here! But then do we learn by being comfortable? God sometimes pushes us out of our box...waaayyyy out of our box so that He can use us to bring glory to Him. I must meet people where they are and be ready to be Christ to them. I need to not judge but listen and then always speak the truth with love. Prayer is POWERFUL! I listened that night, to Our Lady whisper in my heart and I stayed with the conversation. I didn't run away, which was so tempting.

These two woman had difficult lives filled with abuse and bad relationships. Their view on sexuality was the complete opposite of mine, one of woman power instead of self-giving love. I may be the only face of Christ they see that day, or week or year. Do I walk away offended or do I great them with the truth?

That evening I chose the truth. I share this story with you not for accolades but to prove that if God can use a lilly livered people pleaser like me to spread His message, than imagine what He could do with you, a person of strength and conviction. Are you ready to meet the challenge?

God chose to use me in a way that was neither fun nor comfortable but effective. Madame X is still a dedicated Christian and virgin. I pray that she can continue to be true to herself and her God and resist what the world is telling her. I also pray for the two lost woman. That God will heal what is broken in them and restore their faith in Him. I ask for your prayers for them as well. This is the battle we face as Catholic Christians...to LIVE OUT LOUD!!!

To Him be the Glory...Now and Always,

Mary

feast of the exultation of the cross...

Today is the Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross.

"O cross, you are the glorious sign of victory.

Through your power may we share in the triumph of Christ Jesus."

Last night I was at adoration and I had an opportunity to really look at Our Lord and listen to a wonderful talk given by one of our priests in preparation of tomorrows feast day Our Lady of Sorrows. You see, you can't have one feast without the other. Mary stood at the foot of the cross and wept for her Son, for all humanity. It's one of the reasons I love being Catholic. These feast days throughout the year remind me of who I am and what my God has done for me. They give me pause to stop and pay attention for a moment in the insanity of life.

Mary's Son hung on that triumphant cross so I would have a chance at eternal life. He paid for every sin I would ever commit on that day. Any sin anyone would ever commit. As the popular worship song says:

"I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross"

I am in constant wonder that Jesus chose to die for me. Who am I that He would deem me worthy of such an act of self-sacrifice? Who am I indeed?

I am a sinner redeemed by His blood and fed through His Body. I am the daughter of a King who tries each and every day to renew the offering of her life to Him in service and love. I am the mother of a miracle who amazes me with her peace and grace as she picks up her daily cross and walk with Him. I fail too often and when I cannot imagine being able o take one more step, Jesus looks down at me from that cross and urges me forward toward Him. He pulls me on bended knee to wrap my arms around that cross and lean on Him for my very breath. His is my Lord and God, My Beloved, and He ransomed himself for me.

Thank you Lord Jesus for deeming me worthy of such an gift. I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed.

Blessed be that Beautiful Awful Cross.

Blessings,

Mary

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living out loud...pt. 1

Sunday's readings talked about living out our faith. If we are believers than we will act as such by doing good works and loving thy neighbor as thyself. I have been struggling with this concept of living my Catholicity "out loud". I am trying to be a a Christian Catholic in all aspects of my life, no matter who I am with, Christian or Non-Christian. Over the years I have learned that I need to be prepared to defend my faith because I never know when God will call me into action. It's always when I least expect it. He's funny that way.

This past summer I found myself in a wee bit of a pickle. I was at a writers conference attending great seminars on dialogue, character arcs, inner conflict and infusing humor into your story line. At the end of the first day, I found myself settled at a table in the hotel bar contemplating a margarita on the rocks and some fabulous discussion about the days talks. Writing, however, was not the first topic of conversation. I was completely unprepared for what came next.

And yes, this really did happen. As they say "the truth is stranger than fiction"...

Writer #1 - Mary we need to do something about Madame X and the rut she is in. She needs to shake things up. She's just not happy with her life.

Me - okay...(with quizzical look on my face)

Writer #2 - I think she just needs to get laid. I mean can you believe she is a virgin at the age of ?? We need to find her a man.

Me - (coughing after mistakenly taking a sip of said margarita) WHhatt?

Writer #1- That's a great idea. That way her inner creativity can be released into the universe. Some of my most creative work has been after a sexual encounter. But where would we get the guy. Mary, you know anyone?

Here is your chance to evangalize. What would you have said next? Leave a comment and let me know. Check in tomorrow for the rest of this tantalizing conversation. You won't want to miss it.

Blessings,

Mary

join us...

If you live nearby consider joining us Sunday, September 20, 2009 for the Phases of Womanhood Fall Tea.

The program:

"Beauty from Ashes"...What’s the secret to real beauty? Beauty products? Diet? Exercise? You’ve done all that. It’s a never-ending cycle and is it ever enough? Or is the answer something deeper? Lisa Brenninkmeyer is the founder of Walking With Purpose, a Catholic Women’s Bible Study that is changing the lives of women across the country. She speaks to women from her heart, inspired by a desire to see women transformed as they realize how much God loves them!

PLEASE JOIN US!

mary's book basket ~ "an eye for an eye"

In Irene Hannon's second installment of her "Hero's of Quantico" series, An Eye for An Eye, FBI Hostage Rescue Team member Marc Sanders has a chance encounter 20 years after sharing his first kiss with love Emily Lawson that changes their lives forever. In a fast paced inspirational romantic suspense, Ms. Hannon weaves a tale of intrigue and hope. A must read for sure.

The hero, Marc Sanders finds himself smack in the middle of a new investigation while still carrying scars from his last big case. Heroine Emily Lawson, a smart, independent ,clinical pshychologist, carries her own secret grief and fear of intimacy, as a result of her firefighter husband's death in the line of duty.

As Marc and Emily work together to find out who is after one of them and why, their friendship is rekindled. Working their way through the mystery, each is faced with stumbling blocks from their pasts. Both must wield their way through their inner conflicts and turmoil in order to embrace the possibility of a future together. Ms. Hannon does a terrific job with the pacing of both the suspense plot line as well as the inspirational romance. She slowly peels back the layers of each characters doubt and loss of faith while maintaining the constant pulse of the mystery.

I think the most powerful part for me as the reader was the ending when the villain is caught. Marc's heroic response was very moving and showed the completion of his powerful character arc and the impact of the example of Emily's quiet walk of faith. This book was a wonderful afternoon escape. If your looking for a little mystery mixed with faith, hope and love, An Eye For An Eye is just the thing.

Happy Reading!

Mary

never forget...

Let us never forget those who gave their lives eight years ago today...

For the faithful departed through the mercy of God...Rest In Peace...

Amen.

May Our Lord continue to bless and protect America. One Nation, Under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for All!

7 quick takes friday (vol. 6)

Thanks to Jennifer for hosting another "Quick Takes Friday". If you want to be inspired check out the other submissions at Conversion Diary. There are some great posts...you don't want to miss it!

1.

Courtney has had a good week at school. Yesterday she decided she was NOT going to participate in physical therapy. Her PT, Alex, stood her up to get her to bear weight. She was having none of it. She promptly sat down and refused to do it. After a few attempts, the PT gave up and put her back in her wheel chair. What did Courtney do? Laughed...loudly! That's my girl. Don't tell me there isn't a 17 year old in there!

2.

I made these cupcakes and I am telling you they are like Twinkies on speed. The best part was I brought them over to a friends house who has four children. They loved them and I didn't gain an ounce. I get to bake and when the kids are all sugared up, I can come home to my quiet house. It's a win win situation!

3.

I watched Fr. Vander Woude's interview on EWTN's "Life on the Rock". He was speaking about his father and how he sacrificed his own life to save his son, Father's younger brother Joe. It is an amazing story that never fails to bring tears to my eyes and a prayer to my heart for Mr. Vander Woude's soul. He lived a life filled with virtue and is an example of fatherhood to be emulated. No greater love is there than to lay down one's life for another.

4.

I have gotten up every morning this week at 5am to pray and begin my day in a place of peace and calm. This has really helped me to be productive and to move through my day feeling more joyful and blessed no matter what the circumstances. It has led to a few small successes. "Early to be and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise" Benjamin Franklin.

ps. and a wee bit tired around 2 o'clock in the afternoon.

5.

I recently saw an episode on another EWTN show called the "Abundant Life" wher Johnette was interviewing the author of Fit for Eternal Life. Kevin Vost has written an interesting book all about our bodies and how we need to care for the temples God has provided for us. What I enjoyed about it was how he takes into account daily tasks such as house work. It's the first book that has broken down exercise in such a way that I am actually motivated to do it. He also relates exercise to the virtues it instills in us. I can't wait to read it and implement it further. Operation Renovation is underway.

6.

I went to the dentist yesterday and got an A+. That's right I am a flossing champion!

Woot! Woot!

ps. yes I am getting desperate...one more quick take to go!

7.

I continue to de-clutter one day at a time, everything from household things to outside activities. All of this in an effort to seek a simpler life with more room for family and writing. Peace shall reign supreme! At least in my mind.

Happy Friday!

Mary