just keep asking...

With everything happening in my world recently, I have found myself on my knees quite frequently. Sometimes I am yelling at God informing Him of my displeasure with the situation. Other times I am just begging for the grace to get through whatever comes next. Rarely am I silent, listening for His voice. It's one of my failings, a big one.

As I was doing my daily meditation this morning I came across this passage from The Word Among Us:

"To see this life in action, all we have to do is to look at the apostles. They lived to proclaim the gospel, and because of their expectant faith, they witnessed numerous miracles like the one in this passage. Whatever trials they encountered—persecution, prison, beatings, and exile—they never lost hope or the sense that it was an honor to be ambassadors of God’s love and mercy.

How do we live this life that our Father has given to us in Jesus? By asking for it! Each day in prayer, surrender more of your “old” life to him, and ask him for more of his divine life in you. Believe that if you ask, you will receive it. This doesn’t mean that you’ll never experience suffering or sorrow. But it does mean that you will be able to respond to them with the faith and confidence that God is in control and that he will give you whatever you need to live victoriously for him."

Bells went off in my head. I was deafened by God's insistence in that moment.

Just keep asking! Have hope and confidence that God is in control!

Well...duh Mary!

You see I don't have Oprahlike AHAH moments, filled with girl power and self-realization. I have Duh moments because in most cases what God chooses to reveal to me would be apparent to a first grader. Did I say I had a thick skull and it takes a LOT to get my attention. A LOT!!

Here I was this morning just going through the motions and WHAM! right upside the head...He answers one of my constant prayers. How many times Lord? How many times can I keep asking for mercy? For me? For Court? How many times? Aren't you sick of hearing the same thing again and again?

Apparently not! The apostles expected miracles, why shouldn't I? They took action and walked with confidence that God was walking with them. They surrendered their lives, prayed in earnest and hoped with confidence that their Teacher, Our Lord, would answer their EVERY need.

So I surrendered a little more. I prayed for a heart of acceptance. Acceptance of God being in complete control of my life. He knows what Courtney needs. He knows what I need. He also knows what we need to surrender to Him in order for His work to be done, one day at a time. He knows how the story ends, so I need to just stop worrying about it and life in the moment. How many times do I need to be reminded of this? Every single day people! Every single day!

As for Miss Courtney, she has gained THREE pounds so far and is holding steady at 102 pounds. This week she didn't lose or gain any weight. We have an uphill battle ahead of us but we will boldly go with confidence and KEEP ASKING Our Beloved Lord to show us the way. Thank you for walking with us and lifting us in your prayers. Words fail me...we are so blessed.

Grace to You,

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