There is much to be grateful for on this Monday.
First I just want to say thank you. Thank you to each and every reader who said a prayer, wrote an email or left a comment for me this past weekend. You overwhelm me with your kindness and support. You really do. I did not expect it and I am humbled by it. Truly.
I promised myself that I would be authentic here in cyberspace. It's not always sweetness and light but it is real. Sometimes after I have a crisis of faith, when the dam breaks and I wonder what it's all for, God surprises me and takes my breath away with his generosity.
I woke up late on Saturday morning and my husband had a few surprises in store for me. He knew that my world had been difficult with all of his traveling and crazy schedule, the demands of the children and my desire to pursue some personal goals and being so frustrated that nothing was going right.
So after a lovely lunch filled with fresh, healthy food that I did not prepare or have to clean up after, I was sent to get my nails done for a wedding we were attending that evening. Then I had my hair cut and colored. Just keeping it real here. I have been grey since my 20's so the lovely auburn you see is with some help. I put on a dress that actually zipped and we were off to a beautiful wedding celebration.
Weddings have a way of renewing my spirit. It is the celebration of a new beginning, a new adventure with two people brought together by God. I don't think there is a better way to spend a Saturday afternoon than celebrating such a union.
After the wedding we were off to the reception. What a fabulous party. The food was spectacular, the company even better. There was music and laughter and lots of dancing.
I love to dance. I don't get very many opportunities these days other than in my own living room. My husband loves to dance as well and we had not been on a date in a long while. It was a wonderful opportunity to look deeply into his eyes and hold him in my arms and love this man that I gave my heart to 22 years ago. We boogied, line danced and fox trotted. We had an outrageously good time.
He held my hand and whispered beautiful words. He took care of me and filled my heart and renewed his role as my beloved. It had been too long between dates and sweet escapes for just the two of us. We promised each other we would do better. We would make some changes so we don't let that well go dry.
I realized that while standing on the edge of nowhere I am empty. The reason I don't want to jump is because I don't have the energy or motivation to do so. God knew this and gave me a day to just receive and oh what a difference a day makes.
No only did you love me and encourage me but so did my family and my God. I am blessed indeed. I am grateful to be so cared for.
So on this Monday, I may not be completely ready to jump off that edge that God is leading me to, yet, but I feel stronger, wiser and more full of love than I have in a long time.
My advice to anyone else who is standing in this same place, not wanting to be where you are or who you are, having lost yourself in the stress and challenges of the moment...take a breath.
Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to receive from others who love you and want the best for you. Rest and renew. Say no and just be for awhile.
God speaks in the quietness of those moments. He speaks in the kindness of those words offered and the hands that hold you and me.
Say to yourself..."I am not alone. I am loved. He is here. I am His."
Because you are and I am too. Praise God! Praise Him for this moment and being full and loved.
Things I am grateful for today:
#1- love, new and old.
#2- a smiling 17 year old who doesn't care if her Mamma is plump or published. She loves me anyway.
#3- a son's sense of humor and comedic timing that makes me laugh so hard I snort.
#4- a husband's strong hand that holds mine gently while we pray.
#5- a full pantry and freezer that will allow me to celebrate the feast with my family.
#6- a plane ticket to Florida so that I can learn and grow as a writer.
#7- the generosity and prayers of sweet friends and family who love me no matter what.
Blessings to each of you. I am grateful for you all.
**image was found at:
Labels: My Crazy Life