revealing what she's made of...

It's been a tough few weeks here in Chez Lenaburg. I have struggled with life and everything it's thrown my way. Courtney is losing weight once more. The wheelchair van required a mortgage payment in repairs. Jonathan was in a fender bender. I got a speeding ticket. Courtney's seizures have increased with the weight loss. Jerry's job has become a wee bit more stressful hence he is a wee bit more stressed. There are deadlines for writing assignments, both personal and professional. There is a house to clean and keep up. There are meals to plan and cook. There is a marriage to tend to. Courtney gets sick. Mama gets sick. Rewind...Repeat...

Are you exhausted yet? I am. But you know what's funny? God really doesn't give us more than we can handle even if we don't know that at the time. Believe me I did not know I could get through all this when I was in the midst of it. I was simply surviving each and every day, one hour at a time. Some days I was able to smile and laugh and other days I didn't leave the house and wished bodily harm on those who annoyed me by simply standing to close. Oh yea...good times!

The last three days though have sort of taken the cake and made me realize that just because my daughter can't speak, doesn't mean she does not get her point across.

 Jerry had to travel so it was just me, Court and her Big Brother who helped me with the heavy lifting. The first 24 hours nothing unusual happened. Miss Court had a seizure but that's not out of the ordinary. Day two dawned and things went swiftly downhill. She was agitated. That second night she barely slept and had four seizures in six hours. I was completely baffled as to what was going on. She wasn't sick, her diet had not changed, her weight was stable...what the heck??

Wednesday dawned in a fog of sleepless agitation. I had slept only two hours so I hooked myself up to the coffee maker and began cleaning the living room to prepare for my hubby's return that evening. Miss Court was not a happy camper. She refused to eat. She would not let me change her position stiffening her body and complaining. I did my check to make sure nothing was pinching or pulling. I moved every joint and she did not seem to be in pain, just annoyed. It took me 20 minutes to get her in her wheelchair and settled. I had to change my clothes I was drenched with sweat. Still no idea what she was so upset about.

I finished my cleaning and then decided to take Miss Court out to meet some friends at the mall. We would get out of the house into an air conditioned environment with lots of distractions. Court enjoys the mall at least she has every other day but Wednesday. She was NOT happy. She kept trying to turn sideways in her chair. She would shake her head and then fling her headband off at EVERY opportunity. It pinged off of clothing fixtures and window displays. She was throwing a full blown fit without saying a word and I had no idea why.

We came home and within an hour of our arrival Jerry arrived home. He came in and gave me a kiss then headed over to Miss Court. What happened next made me smile...then scream...then throw my hands up in the air and want to run away.

Jerry got up right next to her and whispered "Hey Pickle. Daddy's home."

My daughter turned toward his voice and began to laugh. LAUGH! She giggled as he held her and told her how much he missed her. She was a smiley, giggly, drooley mess. Jerry was laughing, Mama was smiling and Miss Court was in heaven.

Then I tried to feed her dinner. She clamped her mouth shut and turned away. Jerry tried guessed it...she was a happy little bird, mouth open and eating everything. Now I was getting irritated.

I was getting her ready for bed and she started fussing at me. Daddy came in and everything was fine.

I was done...done...done! My daughter was throwing an absolute tantrum. She was completely pissed that her Papa was gone and somehow it was MY fault!

Why is it always the Mama's fault? Sheesh!

She proceeded to sleep through the night without one seizure. She ate the next morning and then slept for another six hours...all because Daddy was home now.

As we were preparing for bed tonight Jerry started to laugh. I asked what was so funny.

He looked at me and said "How awesome is it that our daughter can throw a fit and let us know that she is irritated and annoyed. She missed her daddy and disliked the shake up to her daily routine AND she made sure we knew it. How great is that? She's in there trying to figure out how to tell us what she's thinking and feeling and boy you couldn't miss this one. She behaved just like any teenage girl would. I love it!"

Well when you put it that way honey...gotta love those teenage girls don't ya???

I think I need a time out!

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