There have been many,many, many times in my life when I have had no doubt that I am being a pawn in the Divine Chess game of life. Sometimes I capture the Queen and sometimes I go down in flames with my army in shambles around me.
Today I have laughed more than I have cried. I have shaken my head and thrown up my hands surrendering to the Chess Master in the sky who strategery confuses and confounds me on an hourly basis. There are reasons why I write a daily journal because no one would believe the stuff happens unless I wrote it down.
On Sunday I wrote out a tithe to our church. I have missed the last few Sundays due to several medical bills for Miss Courtney and I really felt a tug on my heart this week that we needed to make sure we were giving. This is a biblical mandate after all. Hubby wanted me to hold back knowing some big bills would be rolling our way in the next few days and I had calculated to the last penny what would be needed to cover things until payday. He told me he trusted my judgement so I wrote the check happily and went on about our day.
Yesterday I was doing my weekly check to make sure I had not missed a bill or a payment on something. As I went through I realized that I had forgotten a doctor bill that was already in the "second" billing phase that needed to be paid. Fudge! Fudge! Fudge!
Then I looked at the amount.
It was the EXACT same amount as the tithing check! The EXACT amount!
In my head all I heard was "Testing...1...2...3...testing...Hello Mary. This is God just checking in to see if you really trust me to provide everything you and your family need. And I mean everything down to the last penny! So do ya...huh...do ya?"
Oh yay for me...another itty bitty test on TRUST! wa.hoo.
Then when I was in spiritual direction this afternoon. I was talking about Miss Courtney and all the issues surrounding her care, God's plan in it all, how am I supposed to do this, It's just too much, etc. etc. etc.
Father looked at me and said with a smile "Mary, you have to realize that for as much time that God has given her, Courtney is the star of the show. You and Jerry are the supporting characters helping her accomplish her mission, whatever God has asked her to do. She cannot do it without you. You are her hands and feet. You are her voice, so speak for her with love and mercy always."
So I come home and what is waiting for me? This weeks National Catholic Register with an article that contains a quote from yours truly about who? Oh yeah, the "star" of the show, Miss Courtney herself. You can read the full article HERE.
Another divine chess piece moved on the board of life.
Hmmmm...hello God it's Mary...I get it...trust...walk humbly...speak mercy...and in case I ever forgot...I am NOT in control of this boat or the sea in which it sails...I'll just keep paddling...
Labels: Courtney's World, My Crazy Life