hope...always hope...

Life is filled with challenges and disappointments. It's how we choose to deal with these things that tells the tale of our true character. If the last two weeks give any indication as to the true nature of my character...then let's just say I have a heck of a lot of work to do. Instead of reacting with grace and humility, I have not been an example of either one. I have struggled to keep my temper in check, my anxiety at bay and my heart filled with something other than dread. In the midst of chaos and illness my perfectionist personality went into overdrive and I felt horrible that I was disappointing people left and right. Deadlines were missed and jobs left undone. Not my usual modus operandi.

The amazing thing was God was there. The whole time. He was there in my husband as he cared for me in my very weakened state filled with snot and not much else. It was NOT a good look for me let me tell you!

He was there in my friends who prayed for me and my doctor who prescribed the right meds to make it all go away.

He was there in the understanding staff at school when I couldn't substitute as I was signed up to do and it was a CRAZY week at school!

God was present in the woman at church who came up to me after Mass two weeks ago and told me how much my Courtney touched her heart...how she was so touched by the way Jerry and I care for her. She will never know how much her words pierced my heart. How needed they were to be a balm to the aching that sometimes overwhelms me when I begin to doubt wether or not I can do this caregiving thing for the foreseeable future.

God was present in all of them. He never left my side.

Fo that I am so grateful...words really don't come close at times...they can't fully express my heart...but they are all I have so I will try.

God was present in the heart of my daughter and she holds her arms open wide for the man who holds her heart here on earth...her Daddy.
eyes that look right through your soul...and buck teeth to match!
God was present in the face of a sweet one month old little boy that was baptized yesterday. This beautiful pure little soul that now sings the song of God in his heart.

God was present in the heart of my husband as he held that little boy and the water of life spilled over his sweet little head welcoming him into the family of God. My husband is an uncle and a godfather once more. My soul sings for joy in this new relationship.

Welcome to the family of God Thomas Randall...
God is good...even when I am not.

God was present as my son, the eldest grandchild, held his new cousin, the youngest grandchild, and my mother looked one with such joy. Generations of love spilling over.

Hope...always hope...even when all you want to do is give up, curl up in a corner and scream at the world to go away. Hope is where God lives...so today I give hope another chance...

Blessings from God:
#571 ~ # 605
*a new life in Christ - Thomas Randall Green
*family gathered to celebrate Christ's love
*generations laughing together
*grilled burgers made by baby brothers who now have babies of their own
*godchildren surrounding me with love and laughter
*blue eyed little boys who make their Aunties heart melt
*shark cakes and 7 year olds
*candles lit for the life of a soul
*candles lit to celebrate life on earth
*prayers sent for healing and recuperation
*vaporizers and hot lemon tea
*full box of kleenex
*cold calm and honey syrup that soothes the throat
*warm blankets straight form the dryer
*fuzzy slippers and flannel pj's
*a husband who hold hands and rubs my back
*daughter who hugs her Daddy
*blue eyes that look like the sea 
*that see your very soul...and love you still
*BFF's celebrating birthday's filled with lots of laughter
*carmel corn and pumpkin cheescake
*the leaves displaying brilliant bright colors
*breezes floating through open windows billowing the curtains
*the smell of the first fire of the season
*fathers sharing wisdom with sons
*sons honoring those years and lessons learned
*singing in the kitchen
*simple chores that remind me that I am able bodied to be able to accomplish said chores
*snuggling on the couch with the man who has held my heart for 25 years
*the joyful memories of time gone by
*sharing stories of lessons learned with nieces and nephews...laughing the whole time
*hot chocolate filled with extra marshmallows
*listening to my husband and son recite famous movie lines...perfectly in sync. It's a little scary really...but funny!
*the last roses of the season blooming with hope for another year
*you dear readers who stop in to say hello...I am blessed beyond measure

Head on over to Ann Voskamp @A Holy Experience to be inspired once more