joy in the hard places...

Webster's Dictionary defines JOY as:
a. the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires : delight
b.  the expression or exhibition of such emotion : gaiety : a state of happiness or felicity : bliss
c.  a source or cause of delight

Things have been tough this last week.

Lots of gloom and doom.

Doctors prognosis, hospital bills, ambulance rides at 2:30 in the morning.

There have bruises from needle pricks for blood tests and IV's.

Some scary moments when my Mama's heart falls through my feet with one thought, one desire in my heart...breathe baby girl...just breathe!

In the midst of all of this there is JOY

There really is.

There were hospital visits by family and friends. There were prayers from ALL OVER THE WORLD being said for my daughter.

How awesome is that? The church triumphant rising up!

There was laughter and story telling, hospital potty humor.

Yes, I'll admit to that.

You gotta laugh you know.

You have to find the JOY in the midst of all the dark. So in this vein I share the following tale (with permission).

My husband and my son are both fixers. This is a situation that they can't "fix". When everything went south on Thursday, Jonathan was at work. We called and let him know she was OK (for now) and we would meet him at home, thinking we would be released from the ER.

When that didn't happen, he kinds flipped out for a minute. He didn't know what "to do".

Jerry and I assured him that the best thing he could do for Courtney and for us was to take responsibility for himself. He hates hospitals more than Jerry does and that's saying something. So having him wait with us was not the best idea at that time.

Trust me, we will know when that time is.

So he went to work on Friday and called and texted checking in throughout the day and evening.

After another tough night on Friday, Jonathan came to see Courtney in the PICU early Saturday morning. We weren't sure what was coming next, so we had begun to circle to the wagons.

He came into the room and went right to her. She smiled when she heard his voice and began to curl in his direction.

He kissed her nose and held her hand. He sang to her and read her a story, all the things he does at home. After about an hour, he stood up and began pacing like a caged animal.

Jerry and I told him if he needed to he could go but we advised him to say whatever he needed to say to his sister.

We were in new territory here and we didn't want him to feel any remorse if God called her home and he didn't have time to say goodbye.

So we left him alone with her for a few minutes. Jerry and I stood outside the door and watched our son pour his heart out to his sister through the window.

There were tears and kisses.

It was intense.

Then we had a classic Jonathan moment.

He kissed her forehead, then bent down grabbed the corner of her hospital sheet and blew his gnarly nose!  He wiped his face then bundled the corner of the sheet and hid it under the blanket like it never happened waiting for his Mama to come across his icky snot at a most inopportune moment. 


My husband leaned over and whispered "Does he know he is on the video camera at the nurses station?"

I shook my head "Nope."

I turned to look at the nurses station and saw our charge nurse head in my direction.

She was carrying a new flat sheet, shaking her head and laughing.

"I thought you might need this."

Oh gotta laugh...

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