"where there is love, there is life" ~ ghandi

"Where there is love, there is life" 
- Ghandi

It's not often I start a {pretty, happy, funny, real} post with a quote from Ghandi but today it just felt right. It's been an interesting three weeks here with lots of ups and downs. Jerry and I have been pushed to stretch in ways I didn't think we could and now that the stretching is done and our understanding is deeper and honestly I don't know what I was so afraid of.

I keep forgetting the main purpose of Miss Courtney's life...to teach us how to love unconditionally and place ALL into Our Lords hands. Every worry, every concern, every need...we carry none of it. HE does. Courtney is ours but for a short time. We would do better to live out the love we have than to worry about how the story ends. God's got that one.

It was my plan to share pictures of our Lenten preparations throughout the house, but after this mornings doctors appointment with Miss Courtney I though a little update on our girl would be more welcome. So here we go:


The lovely Ruth reached out to me last week over facebook and asked is she could make me a rosary bracelet. I was totally surprised and very touched by her generosity. She asked me to look at her sight Loreto Rosaries and choose something that I would like. My eye immediately went to the Lapis Lazuli bracelet. It's a deep sapphire blue...my favorite color on the planet.

When it arrived in the mail, I did a little happy dance. I have worn it so many times since. I love having a way to pray the rosary that I don't have to digging in my purse for. It's just beautiful Ruth...thank you!

Why would I star an update on Miss Courtney with a picture of a rosary bracelet? Well my friends, Our Lady has not left our side these last few weeks. She has been our anchor. Miss C and I have prayed many rosaries or rather I have prayed them along side her, seeking peace of mind and heart. With one medical crisis after another, you can imagine how trying things have been but Our Blessed Lady brings peace every single time.


Well, I am so very, very happy to say that today we turned a corner. We have reached the top of another mountain coming out of a very dark valley.

Miss Courtney's ammonia levels are normal.

Yes, you read that right...they are normal. This is a first for Miss Courtney.

Her liver and her kidneys are just fine as well. Everything is working as it should.

Miracle anyone??

She has gained four pounds in the last three weeks. FOUR pounds!! She had her first cycle in SIX months this past weekend!! (sorry guys, don't mean to gross you out, but it's a good thing).

She is fifteen days away form being completely OFF the Depakote and her seizures have NOT gotten worse. Yes, you read that correctly as well.

She wakes up with a smile on her face. She sings ALL day long and occasionally makes her displeasure known with a LOUD bellowing yelp (mostly about putting on her shoes). She spits out food she doesn't like and she hums loudly for more when the good stuff is all gone.

She is doing better than she has in the last THREE years people!! I am humbled and amazed at this turn of events. Just so incredible.

Apparently we needed this medical crisis to shake us up and make us pay attention to her body and how she could no longer handle taking the Depakote. When Courtney needs us to know something it's never an easy path to understanding.

Take our Lourdes story for example. We had to go halfway around the world to hear our daughters voice and to know that she was going to be OK.

Yep, Miss C, sometimes your Mama and Daddy are a little dense. Thanks for the reminder.


The funny thing is, we didn't do this. YOU did this. You beautiful awesome people who come to this space or visit us on Facebook or Twitter and you PRAY!! You get on your knees and you pray for our girl. You pray for us, to know the right thing to do.

I just don't have words on how grateful this Mama is to ALL of you. I truly don't.

I mean look at her sweet face. Those buck teeth and curls. How can you not love that face??

We still have much to do for our girl. Her feeding schedule continues to be every two hours by tube or mouth. Her med schedule is three times a day but once the Depakote is gone that goes to two times a day. She needs to be weighed every two weeks. Her biopsy sights are healing beautifully and all the results were negative,  so we are almost done with that.

We are still dealing with an occassional seizure. This is our achilles heel. The one thing that could throw this train off the tracks. PLEASE continue to pray that she can come COMPLETELY off the Depakote. For the sake of her liver and kidneys. Today we have had two small ones but she recovered well and is smiling as I type this. She has two more weeks...so pray, pray, pray...

I can't explain the "why" of this. Courtney has fought for twenty years to remain here with us. She is tired. I am tired. Her Daddy is tired. We truly thought over the last six months that God was preparing us to say our final goodbyes. All the signs were there. Every physician saying the same, exact thing...

"It's time to let her go..."

So we did. We placed her in God's arms and we prepared our hearts as best as we could and we just kept loving her. What else were we supposed to do?

Today the doc looked me in the eye with a HUGE smile on his face and said...

"You need to prepare to take care of her and love her for a little while longer..."

Uhhh...hell yea I can do that!!

In God's infinite wisdom, mercy and grace he has chosen to give us more time. More time for laughter and snuggles. More time for curled toes and mighty yelps. More time to love her and let her love us. It will not all be candy and rose for sure but I will take whatever Our Lord is willing to give.

This could ALL change tomorrow. We know that. You know that. I could wake up tomorrow and something else might rear it's ugly head and we are back to square one.

But you know what. HE hasn't given us tomorrow. He has given me and my daughter today. So today we live because today we LOVE!!


Just in case you were thinking everything is hunky dory, guess what showed up in the mail today. The first one of these...

Don't ever let anyone tell you that having a special needs kids is a walk in the park. This bill is for two days in the hospital. This does not include the physician's fees, just the hospital. It's not the final amount, insurance will bring it down some, but the ending balance will be in the thousands.

Just keeping it real. This happens in our house at least three times a year...oh yea...fun times!

If you feel called to help, you can click the donate button on the top of the right sidebar. We would be so grateful...you have no idea...

Blessings, grace and many hugs from our house to yours...and thank you so much for everything you do for our girl...

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

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