I hate starting the day like this. I mean it's really no fun feeling like you will never catch up with what needs to be done. After making three phone calls to make appointments for Miss Courtney, downing one wonderful cup of joe and making the requisite oatmeal for both of us I knew I needed to change my mindset or we would be in for one lousy Monday. I thought about the past few weeks and realized that I had done a LOT of complaining about my life and all that entails.
|Courtney and her Papa on their favorite snuggle spot on the couch. |
I mean seriously aren't you tired of listening to me bitch, whine, moan and complain. I know I am and I have to live with me.
Nooo...that doesn't sound very schizophrenic at all...'ahem...OK...moving on...
Yes, my appliances/car/plumbing have conspired to make me go insane ( a very
short trip believe you me) and have driven my poor husband to declare that "He won't be able to retire until he is dead". I realized this morning that I too will never retire from being a Mama and I am A-OK with that. So what if my stove is caput...I own an electric skillet, a rice cooker AND a crock-pot. Bring on your toughest parisian delectables, this chick is ready to cook. The plumbing works, it's just that my sink is still spitting at me. While we save the cash for the repairs, I just make sure I wear an apron when doing the dishes. No problemo. Spit away sink. It's only water and I am told I will not melt. Not today anyway.
|A small part of Miss Courtney's "Hair Pretty" collection|
Life is messy in our home.
Completing daily chores requires the constitution of an ox. Good thing I am built like one.
There are grand mal seizures to time and watch to make sure she breathes through them. Sneezes filled with spinach or whatever ground up food My Courtney has in her mouth. There are nasty adult diapers to change and physical therapy exercises that MUST be done every single day. There is very curly hair to brush (THAT is always a war let me tell you) and many stories to read. Doctors appointments to attend to, most of which will contain bad news or require further testing of some sort...usually invasive and painful for my girl. There is laundry to do since she will inevitably pee through her adult diaper during the night. I am an expert sheet folder you know. Expert I tell you.
|Court's meds...yes we own our own pharmacy...|
There are meds to administer and G-tube feedings as well. I can tend to become rather OCD in my focus on the negative. It can grip me like a snake and squeeze all the joy out of my day and I NEED my joy people. I need it bad! I need to fill my mind with hope and think of happy things. I need to laugh. I need to sing at the top of my lungs as Pat Benatar belts out "Love is a Battlefield". I need to dance to Mumford and Sons as I cook in my small kitchen.
No there will be no video...
|this hair is the boss of me!|
Last week my husband and I celebrated twenty-five years of marriage. 25 YEARS!! That is a stinking miracle given what we have been through or better yet what we have put each other through. We were surrounded by family and friends as we renewed our vows and celebrated with a beautiful Mass.
There was JOY...such tremendous JOY!! Just thinking about it makes me smile. We have made a life long commitment to one another that we take very seriously...for richer or poorer, good time and bad, sickness and health. It's overwhelming to think of all we have gone through and to know that this man still wants to walk with me no matter what comes next.
Screw the stupid car repair bill.
Who cars about the broken stove or the splattering sink?
I have a wonderfully handsome husband who deals with my little emotional swings like a champ. He loves through them all and he still thinks I'm cute.
Absolutely amazing if you ask me. I have a beautiful daughter whom God has gifted us with and who without one word speaks God's love and faithfulness by her very life. I have a strong and handsome son who loves his sister and will do anything for her. Even make all the different voices in "Green Eggs and Ham" just to make her laugh. His Cindy Loo-Hoo voice is the VERY BEST on the planet. It gets her every time.
As my friend Charlene reminded me at the end of last week, I am surrounded by so many who love me, pray for me and lift me up when I am feeling low. THAT is such a gift. Truly.
I open my email and I get to reach out and spread a little love among my blogging friends. What my fellow bloggers don't always see is what joy they bring me when the love comes right back.
What is there to complain about? The appliances and car will be repaired and paid for. The checkbook will bounce back, in time. All will be right with our world.
God is good ALL the time!! I just need to keep reminding myself of that each and every day. Besides I get to sleep with this guy...BONUS!!
|How I LOVE this man...|