in the last 24 hours...

in the last 24 hours...I have almost burned my house down...twice...first when I was blow drying my hair  while having two floor fans on plus the de-humidifier plus both ceiling fans and the bathroom fan on...yes, I like to get ready in the midst of tornado like conditions...it's a menopause thing...needless to say my sweet little decrepit old 1968 wiring decided that all that fan action was a bit too much and I blew a fuse...or three...then last night I decided to try a new recipe...chimichangas made from scratch...the hubster  loves him some tex-mex so I wanted to give it a go...let's just say there may have been a brief grease fire...ie. flames shooting everywhere while Mary screams her bloody head off dancing around from foot to foot like that would make any difference in the fact that I should now be calling 911...well maybe the flames shooting was actually only one quick flame before I slammed the lid over it to out it out...but the screaming and dancing around...on top of all the drama my chimichangas exploded in the fryer and it looked like a dog had pooed...yes, I killed the chimichangas, which became burritos smothered in homemade guacamole, yes, thank goodness for guacamole...yea...this morning I went to go start a pot of coffee and once more I found I HAD NO COFFEE!!! what is up with that THAT?...this needs to stop happening to me...I must pay better attention to the coffee situation in this home...sheesh...you would think I would have learned that by now...after a few cups of hot tea...no it's not better than coffee...just not...I stumbled my way through critique group realizing that writing a memoir is just way too hard and I may need to start drinking heavily to make it all make sense...and I hate using commas...no...I will never be a comma mama, that's for sure..apparently I am allergic to them...then this afternoon I went to change the laundry around taking a nice little sniff of my freshly laundered clothing...I love the smell of freshly washed clothes... only to realize that I never started the washer...after I recovered from taking a wiff of the families unclean unmentionables...there may have been gagging...I started the washer...on the way back to the living room I tripped over a stack of library books...yes...I actually was almost killed by literature...Mr. Keegan would have laughed in wonder...landing in spectacular fashion on my butt causing a stream of colorful metaphors to be sent out into the universe...and assuring a massive bruise on said tushy...of course Miss C chose that particular moment to start laughing like a hyaena...blind my a**...hah!...so needless to say I see a very large drink in my future followed by a LARGE pile of sweet carbohydrates...on the upside...Miss Court has not had a seizure in four days...SWEET!...now for that drink...

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