Our Courtney is in and out of consciousness but still with us this Saturday (12/20) morning. It feels as if she is waiting for something or someone. It's hard to explain. We have done everything we can to assure her of our love and have given her permission to go whenever she is ready. She is in no pain and is resting peacefully.
I don't know why we expected this to go any other way. It is Advent after all. A time of waiting and preparing. God chose this for her twenty-two years ago and she is just doing as He has asked.
Courtney has marched to the beat of her own drum from the moment she took her first breath on this earth. She is now following her own path home to heaven. It won't look a thing like we thought it should. No surprise there.
The hard part is that the rest of us don't know what to expect so our waiting is almost painful in nature. Not physically but emotionally and spiritually. We want her to be be free and healed, so watching her just wasting away, knowing we cannot change the end result, is difficult to say the least.
People have come and spent time with her, asking for her intercession. It's fascinating to watch her smile with her eyes closed when she hears a familiar voice of someone who has loved her. She turns her head like a priest in confession. Her breathing settles and she just listens. Sometimes she is more animated, moving her hands. Then when they leave her, she slips into a very deep sleep. So deep we have to check her breathing to make sure she is still with us.
She let me hold her last night for twenty glorious minutes. We sat in our chair by the tree and sang along to Andy Williams. She smiled, eyes closed. I just relished the weight of her body snuggled in my arms knowing that soon that sensation will be gone. She granted me another sweet Christmas memory. That's my Court. Giving until the end.
This morning she is calm and quiet. She is sleeping deeply now and we continue to sit in vigil. Many have lit a candle for Courtney, sitting in vigil with us for her peaceful passing. I see the #candlesforcourtney photos on twitter, instagram and facebook. These prayers are such a gift to us as we wait.They make each of us smile.
Keep sending those photos to me through twitter, instagram and facebook. Let's light Miss Courtney's path with all the love we can. Miracles are happening. So many miracles. I am astounded at the impact that my sweet girl is having this side of heaven.
I cannot wait to see what happens when she is finally free. Soon and very soon. Watch out world...Miss Courtney is gonna rock the house.
Until then, we watch, we wait, we love, we sing, we pray and we console. We light #candlesforcourtney.
Thank you for waiting with us...I know we are not alone.
Labels: Courtney's World
