I wrote this piece almost EIGHT years ago.
|Courtney in May 2012|
I read these words and I am overwhelmed by an immediate sense of gratitude that Jerry, Jonathan and I were able to stay the course with our Courtney for another seven and a half years. We freaking did it! We got her to Heaven.
I am exhausted just thinking about all that entailed and yet I know at the time, I was simply doing my best to love and care for our girl.
I am humbled by the miracles that the Lord allowed in our lives as we cared for our daughter. As we get closer to her birthday on August 18, I will be posting some of my older posts about Miss Courtney. It's a way to celebrate her life and the love she was always surrounded with.
We did it. We finished the race with our girl. We didn't break or falter at the end, we pushed through trusted in God's providence for Courtney and oh how Our Lord delivered and delivered BIG!
If you are a Mama of a special one, just hang on and hang in. YOU were chosen for such a time as this. Your child needs one thing from you. LOVE! God will provide the inspiration and support for the rest. I promise you!!
news on courtney...10/23/07
Greetings to All,
It has been one month since Courtney's health took an unexpected turn. Since this newest crisis began we have seen miracle after miracle take place and we are so grateful for all of your prayers and generosity of hand and heart.
Courtney continues to have 3-5 grand mal seizures everyday lasting 4-9 minutes. She has not stopped breathing in over three weeks and for that we are praising God. She laughed on Sunday for the first time in a month and I just held her and laughed with her until tears fell. What a glorious sound it is and how I miss it when it is gone. Jonathan said that Grandpa Green must have been telling his "irishman jokes" in heaven again to get her going. Ahh, the miracle of laughter to soothe an aching mother's heart.
Today we saw the pulmonologist. He too had that look of concern on his face. We are seeing this a lot these days and I have to tell you, I could really do without it. Her lungs were clear, praise God, but she is aspirating with every swallow. This means there is fluid going into her lungs every time she swallows. Not good, but not surprising either. Her body so far has been absorbing it, which is why we have avoided pneumonia. This will not always be the case. The doc is ordering her a feeding pump and by Christmas Courtney will probably be fed completely by her G-tube. This is the hardest part for me.
My daughter loves to eat. It is one of the few "normal" experiences she has left and soon that will be gone. I know in my mind that it is for her safety and health that this change has to be made, but sadness overwhelms my heart when I think about her not having the simple joy of eating by mouth. Miracles abound, so I ask your prayers for God's will in this situation.
Many of you have asked "how bad is it really?" in regards to how long Courtney has on this earth. This is a question only God can answer. She has fought for 15 years every single day of her life and I am convinced she is not done with that fight just yet. Will it get harder for her? Yes indeed. Her body is already showing signs of shutting a little at a time. Will God bring her home next week, next month, next year? I don't think it will be that quick to be honest. The physicians who care for her have told us these past few years that it would be a long, slow process of one system at a time. Now we are beginning to see this happen. One thing I do know for sure, LOVE changes things. In the Lenaburg house, there is a lot of love. so who knows what Our Lord has in store. I can only imagine....
So what to do? How can we "fix" it? There is nothing to do but love her each and every day we are blessed with her. There is nothing to "fix". Courtney is not broken. In God's eyes she is perfect. So, we will NOT despair. We WILL persevere in prayer and hope that God will continue to work miracles each and everyday through this young lady's suffering.
We will continue to see the miracle in every breath taken and every moment of laughter. We will CHERISH this young life and learn each day to surrender her to God, for we only get to borrow her for a little while. She belongs to Him, Our Creator, Our Lord and one day, when He is ready, He will bring her home. Until then we will live each and every day celebrating God's love for us and do the best we can to make Courtney's life the best it can be. This is what God is asking of us. No more, no less.
On the financial front, things are moving along to begin a "friend-raising campaign" to pay off the second mortgage so we can sell the house. You should be getting an email in the next two-three weeks in regards to this. For now, we are holding steady, one day at a time.
Please keep praying. You may forward any of our emails to anyone you know who wishes to join us in this prayerful journey. There can never be enough prayers said. I have kept emails from people we have never met who are loving our daughter through their prayers and sacrifices. Please pass any on to us. We joyfully receive each of them.
Courtney and I have been saying the rosary for all of you who are holding all of us in prayer. It is a time of great peace in our home and I know that Our Lady is holding Courtney in her arms each and every night, whispering the glories of heaven in her ear, giving her the grace, through her Son, to hang in their a while longer. Courtney's race is not yet done.
Peace to All of You,
Mary, Jerry, Jonathan and Courtney
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us."
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Our new goal is $3,209.00 which will eliminate the balance on a credit card used for Courtney's PT, OT and Feeding therapies and supplies used over the last five years. We have raised $720 of it so far. Only $2489.00 to go to pay this first one off. If we can raise the full amount, we can pay it off and be that much closer to our larger goal. One thing at a time. Thank you so much for your help.
help pay off medical debt from caring for our beautiful Courtney
The entire medical debt is extensive, now approx. $67,3000. It's a lot and will take years to whittle down. Anything helps. Anything. So, I will keep it at the bottom of my posts for awhile. You all have already given so much to our family. Our prayers are with you and we are so very grateful. We can never repay that kindness. So thank you...just thank you. If you would like our mailing address, please just email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will send it.
Labels: Courtney's World, We Can Do This!!