31 days to whole ~ day 12 ~ looking back and understanding...

Day 13 of our little adventure lands on a Monday.  

A lovely fall Monday that requires lots of coffee for me and a lovely walk to clear my head and my heart. Sometimes the hardest lessons in life take the longest to learn. As I continue my withdraw from all things gluten while trying not to kill small children or my husband as he brandishes about a lovely sub sandwich filled with cheese and condiments that carry more sugar than I ever realized, I am figuring out that this whole food thing is a matter of mind and heart. 

Six years ago I wrote a blog post after returning from a week away attending a Theology of the Body retreat with my husband. Christopher West spoke for five days about the dignity of the human person and how we are all called into relationship with Our Lord. 

I read it again this morning and knew right away today was the day to share those thoughts once more. After all, my relationship with food has been evolving and changing as my relationship with God has evolved and changed. You would think by now I've go this shit down...but no. Human is as human does my friends and I am still in the heat of battle, struggling with self-image and self-care. 

The answer though is found at the foot of the Cross as I look up and see what the Lord has done for me. It's about what I fill that eternal ache with...food or faith.

From October 2009:

After returning from the T.O.B. Institute last week life came at me in a rush. Jerry and I don't travel often, especially with Court, so it is a major undertaking. The blog has been a little slow this week as I have tried to get caught up on life. Now that the home front is back in order I have had more time to write.

Since coming home, I have been doing a lot of thinking about relationships. Theology of the Body is all about seeing the dignity of the human person. It's about seeing humanity as God sees us, made in His image and likeness. Made by Him for Him. His love for us is unfailing and eternal. All He asks is that we are open to a relationship with Him. He gently knocks at the door of our hearts, never pushing or forcing, waiting to be asked into relationship. What an amazing love He has for us. Do we do the same for Him? For one another?

This question has directed my prayer life as I seek clarity and a few answers. As I continued to walk through this course, many things were brought to my attention. One was God's amazing love for me. Another was that anything that stands between me and a deeper relationship with Christ needs to be removed from my life. I spent many hours thinking and praying about what these "idols" were and came up with a few humdinger's that needed to be addressed.


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