Last night was a difficult one. Grief comes and goes on it's own schedule, not mine. As I have progressed through this Whole 30is program, I have kept careful watch over what my emotional triggers are.
Grief and sadness are HUGE triggers for me. Nothing new there. Last night was different though. I sat with the grief. I cried and Jerry held me. We talked about our sweet girl and shared our hearts.
It was good and for once I did not sabotage myself with sugar or emotional overeating. Instead of stuffing my emotions down, I allowed them to roll over me, wave by wave.
It's exhausting to grieve. Physically and emotionally exhausting. My prayers last night were short and to the point. "Jesus I Trust in You".
It's all I had left in me after my crying jag. Except for puffy red eyes a sore throat and the hiccups.
I do trust. I trust that Christ will continue to walk with me as I continue to grieve the loss of my daughter. I trust that He will not leave me alone in this pool of sadness. I trust that His most Blessed Mother will hold me as I weep for my child as she wept for hers.
One day at a time my friends. With anything in life...one day at a time.
Labels: 31 Days to Whole, Courtney, emotional overeating, food and emotions, gratitude, grieving, loss of a child