I am typing this in the wee hours of Monday morning. Another night of menopausal insomnia has struck again. I know this is just a season and with the changes I have already made to my diet and activity level, it has improved. However, it's still a pain in the patootie. I really do like sleep. It makes me happy.
Change is a part of life. Some things are expected and others surprise you. I thought that once Courtney went home to heaven, life would calm down and bad stuff would stop happening.
Ha!! Little did I know.
Stuff still happens. Cars break down, sinks back up and water heaters die glorious and floodlike deaths. Life still brings with it all the drama and chaos wether Miss Courtney is this side of heaven or not.
What's different is how I handle it now.
Once you go through a traumatic event, such as the death of a child, it really does put everything else in perspective. Yes, car repairs stink but it's just a car, not a person. Yes, backed up sinks may make me panic and run around like a screaming banshee. However, this does not solve the problem. You still have to clean up the disaster it leaves behind, no matter how bad it smells. But again, it's a sink, not your mother or father being rushed to the hospital hanging on for dear life.
Yes, hot water heaters spewing water everywhere is loads of fun. NOT! Trying to figure out how to replace it when you are just beginning to break even financially for the first time in seven years, may cause you to rethink this whole "trust in God" concept. Again there is a blessing in the fact that Miss Courtney is in heaven and no longer in need of hot water making the three cold showers you have survived almost comical in there lack of suffering.
Stuff still happens and we have to figure out a way to get it all taken care of without losing our determination to change or sabotage our eating habits. Yes, the pressure is on when facing a crisis but it is totally up to me to choose how I respond. Will I go for the two pounds of dark chocolate or will I go for the Rosary and a cup of tea as I plead our cause once more to the Lord.
I choose prayer and patience. I choose cold water for today until the Good Lord shows us how to fix it. I know it will be done and without me losing my mind or deciding to binge on pie.
Once day at a time...one crisis at a time...one cold shower at a time.
Labels: 31 Days to Whole, catholic family life, Courtney, emotional overeating, food and emotions, grief, honoring someones memory, loss of a child, married life, new beginnings