These last three days have been very busy. Lot's of ins and outs, errand running, speaking engagements, homemaking and even a girls luncheon. I apologize for not coming back into this space and letting you know that I was fine, Jerry is fine and so is our son. I forget that there are so many people praying for us and carrying us through this time of grief. Thank you for caring so much. It truly is a gift to us.
I have fallen off the Whole30ish wagon pretty hard these last two days and I am paying the price. I feel like crap today but I will be pushing though it by making some better food decisions. Sugar you are dead to me. Dead I tell you!!
I know, I have said it before and then a few weeks down the road I fall off the wagon and binge and whammo - Mary feels el crapo once more. This time the culprit was a non assuming chocolate cupcake with chocolate buttercream frosting. It was moist, delicious chocolate wonderfulness which resulted in a very upset stomach ALL night long and very little sleep for this My glycemic levels need to stabilize and chill out. More weight has to come off. More exercise needs to be done.
I know that one day, far far away, I will be able to indulge in a little chocolate love and not feel horrid, but I am just not there yet. My body has more recovery to do. My insulin levels need chill.
Why do I keep doing this to myself? Argh. There wasn't even any real emotional issue. I mean if your going to binge shouldn't there be a reason?
Nope. Not for this chica. All I need is chocolate in the house and to be bored for more than ten minutes. Bored I tell you!! How pathetic is that?
After getting though the night, I stood strong this morning and sent said cupcakes to the office with my hubby. Be gone you evil tempters. I shall not fall prey to your enticing buttercream again. At least not this day.
Life is full of opportunities to turn things around, to get it right the second or third or maybe the two millionth time. That's what mercy and forgiveness are for. You might think that this situation doesn't call for either but it does. I have to forgive myself for my weakness and stupidity and move on. If I don't I will spend the rest of today beating myself up over a stupid choice and by the end of the day, I will be ready to toss in the towel permanently and what good would that do?
Not gonna do it. I paid for my stupidity all night long. Natural consequences my Mama used to say. Enough wallowing, time for action.
If you find yourself in the same place, then take a a piece of advice from a serial sugar offender...don't give up. Take a deep breath and start again.
Two over easy eggs over veggies hash coming up!
Labels: 31 Days to Whole, emotional overeating, faith and food, faith formation, food and emotions, friendship, prayer life, women of faith