day three ~ the tug of war in my heart...

You can begin here friends...

I remember well wanting to be good and do good. I wanted my Mom and Dad to tell me how much they loved me and how proud they were of me. I wanted my teachers to choose me as that weeks "most improved" student. I tried so hard to do everything the "right" way. 

Until I did it the wrong way. 

Then I would lie and hide, hoping and praying no one would notice, praying there would be no consequence for my actions. All that waiting it out until my wrong was discovered was exhausting and down right terrifying at times. Sin makes us do crazy things. 

As young children the pull to be good is strong but the pull to do it our way is just as strong.When I was younger I really struggled with telling the truth. I had a deep desire for approval and acceptance and would manipulate and lie to make that happen. What I didn't understand at the time was that once you lie, you have to maintain that lie, or come clean. 

I prayed a lot as a young girl, constantly some days, not to get caught. I don't think that's the kind of prayer life Our Lady or her Son wanted for me. In time I did figure out that the beauty of the truth combined with just being myself would garner more acceptance and more approval than I knew what to do with.  

Growing up was hard. I am sure you have your own stories to share about what you struggled with as a child. Isn't it awesome how Our Lord meets us where we are, in our youth and in our adulthood, and stretches our hearts and souls to truly "see" truth and beauty in being honest and kind and authentic with everyone in our life. 

So wherever you are right now in that tug of war taking place in your heart, to be good or to give in to the darker side, allow the Lord and his Mother Mary to be there with you. Even when we choose wrong, God can make it right. 
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."  
Romans 8:28 

Y'all Mother Mary became my guide in helping me overcome my predilection for lying as a young kid. God worked through Our Lady in touching my heart and changing me from the inside out. My Dad used to say that if I was struggling with something, all we needed to do was ask Mother Mary for her help and she would always be there for me. Oh how right he was. She always made sure I was caught in my untruth and that I eventually learned to not give into that dark pull. I don't know where I would be today without her

Pray with me won't you:

Dear Mother Mary, 

Thank you for never leaving my side in my truth and untruth. Thank you for always guiding my heart to seek beauty and truth even when all I wanted to do was what I wanted and not what the Lord needed me to do. I ask this day that you be with anyone who is struggling as I did in my youth with telling the truth and being my authentic self. I ask that you be with them as they peel back the layers of darkness to reveal the light and love of your son. 

We ask this in the name of your Son Jesus, 


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