This morning dawned grey and cloudy with a strong fall breeze kicking up the leaves the tree have given over to the change of seasons. I opened my laptop and there in my email was today's Blessed is She devotional written by...me?
Why is it I always forget these things?
I wrote it two months ago in the middle of some serious discernment over leaving my job and striking out on a new path. It is a decision that has been both invigorating and downright terrifying to live out.
Who knew how hard making that choice would end up being? Who knew that this choice would bring forth some unresolved emotional issues from when Courtney was alive and things were more financially difficult? Who knew that being in a super stressful job would cause health issues that are slowly beginning to resolve themselves now that I have removed myself from the source of the stress?
Well, God knew for starters.
He always does.
God knew the desires of my heart even before I recognized them myself. He has moved mountains that I have yet to know about. He has guided my steps and encouraged my heart and Jerry's throughout all of this.
He knows that my willingness to take chances and leap without a parachute does not always make for a happy husband. Jerry is strong, measured and steady. I am spontaneous and passionate, often leaping without looking. It makes for an entertaining marriage for sure.
So how am I supposed to know how to handle the challenges? How am I supposed to understand what God is asking of me? How do I move through the difficulties to get to the good part?
By putting on the armor of God my friends. By starting my day with prayer and gratitude. By praising the Lord above for all that I have been given, the good, the bad and the heartbreaking. Then lifting my needs before Him. No matter what comes, He is with me.
I pray daily to have the courage to want what God wants for me and the fortitude to just keep walking with Him, no matter how many lane changes or u-turns are required on my behalf.
To be courageous and to bend my will according to His, that is the goal. One day at a time...one challenge at a time.
For more encouragement...You can read the devotional here...
Labels: Blessed Is She, devotional, prayer life, writing