a poem for courtney...

Jonathan "helping" Courtney bowl...

Jonathan came home from work last night with a smile on his face. I asked how the world of pizza delivery was and he said "Fine".

I keep forgetting that we are all male only speaking one word at a time.

He was still smiling and I asked how his classes were today. He said "Fine". He went upstairs to his room and started humming to himself.

Jonathan and Courtney napping during a recent road trip

My husband and I exchanged that confused parent look. "He's humming AND smiling" I said.

"Uh huh" replied my husband.

What is it with the monosyllabic answers from the men in my life!

About five minutes later, he came back into the living room and sat next to Courtney's chair. He went on to tell her that he had written about her today in creative writing class.

Miss Courtney was smiling and humming loudly because her big brother was talking to her. It happens every time. She loves him so.

He opened up his laptop and pulled up the file. He read her the following poem:

Curly locks of golden hair,
eyes as blue as the sky,
a smile and laugh that can light up a room.
But no one seems to see that.
They only see...


the wheelchair.
the off-center eyes.
the humming and yelling.
the seizures.


I wish it wasn’t so.
Because I see so much more.


I see her joy,
her pain,
her love,
her irritation at me, her big brother.


She may not see, or really understand it all,
but I know she knows me.
And I know she loves me, like I love her.


I wish other people would see like I do.
The world is brighter with her laughter.


She giggled and leaned in close for her daily dose of Jonathan hugs and kisses on the nose.

Me? I had tears running down my cheeks. I closed my eyes and thanked God for a small little peak into my son's soul.

Next time I want to bark at him for one thing or another I hope my Guardian Angel gently reminds me about the HUGE heart that beats inside this young man.