I don't know why we expected this to go any other way. It is Advent after all. A time of waiting and preparing. God chose this for her twenty-two years ago and she is just doing as He has asked.
Courtney has marched to the beat of her own drum from the moment she took her first breath on this earth. She is now following her own path home to heaven. It won't look a thing like we thought it should. No surprise there.
The hard part is that the rest of us don't know what to expect so our waiting is almost painful in nature. Not physically but emotionally and spiritually. We want her to be be free and healed, so watching her just wasting away, knowing we cannot change the end result, is difficult to say the least.
People have come and spent time with her, asking for her intercession. It's fascinating to watch her smile with her eyes closed when she hears a familiar voice of someone who has loved her. She turns her head like a priest in confession. Her breathing settles and she just listens. Sometimes she is more animated, moving her hands. Then when they leave her, she slips into a very deep sleep. So deep we have to check her breathing to make sure she is still with us.
She let me hold her last night for twenty glorious minutes. We sat in our chair by the tree and sang along to Andy Williams. She smiled, eyes closed. I just relished the weight of her body snuggled in my arms knowing that soon that sensation will be gone. She granted me another sweet Christmas memory. That's my Court. Giving until the end.
This morning she is calm and quiet. She is sleeping deeply now and we continue to sit in vigil. Many have lit a candle for Courtney, sitting in vigil with us for her peaceful passing. I see the #candlesforcourtney photos on twitter, instagram and facebook. These prayers are such a gift to us as we wait.They make each of us smile.
Keep sending those photos to me through twitter, instagram and facebook. Let's light Miss Courtney's path with all the love we can. Miracles are happening. So many miracles. I am astounded at the impact that my sweet girl is having this side of heaven.
I cannot wait to see what happens when she is finally free. Soon and very soon. Watch out world...Miss Courtney is gonna rock the house.
Until then, we watch, we wait, we love, we sing, we pray and we console. We light #candlesforcourtney.
Thank you for waiting with us...I know we are not alone.
Mary, thank you for letting us all keep vigil with you. It is such a privilege to be witnessing the passing of a saint.
ReplyDeleteContinued prayers in these last hours or days.
ReplyDeleteSending prayers and support, Mary. It warms the heart that Courtney knows how much she is loved.
ReplyDeleteSending so many prayers
ReplyDeletePraying for you all Mary.
ReplyDeleteMary~Will you whisper in Courtney's ear that we are seeking healing for Gabbie? I wonder, with you, what it is she still has to do and I felt compelled to send this request. Know how very loved and wrapped in prayer you are! Love~Charlene
ReplyDeleteMary, my heart goes out to all of you.
ReplyDeleteSo many prayers for you all.
ReplyDeleteYou are all in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteI lit a candle for Courtney at church this morning when I went for confession. Also seeking her intercession as God prepares to receive her in heaven. God bless you all. Christine and family
ReplyDeleteWe have a candle lit for you. When we prayed I asked that God give you and you're husband a big hug.... my four year replied that he'd like to give you a hug too. =)
ReplyDeleteWould it be possible for you to ask your sweet saint to pray for my 20-year-old son Matt? He is homebound due to severe sensory processing disorder. I believe that Courtney's prayers would be especially powerful for healing of a brain that doesn't function as it should. We are praying for all of you.
ReplyDeleteI have already been praying to God that Courtney may become a powerful intercessor for children of special needs-- and I'll be asking for her to pray for our Emmett. We're with you all in Christ!
ReplyDeleteI love this thought, Carolyn...
DeleteWe continue to keep vigil with you for Courtney and add our prayers to all the others. Please could you ask her to pray for us, this is our first Christmas since my husband left us, it is so painful. My four children are young, the three year old has Down Syndrome. He and I both have chest infections/asthma wheezing at the moment, and our hearts are breaking for their father who is in need of a miracle. Thank you. blessings xx
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I will pray my rosary for your beautiful Courtney.
ReplyDeleteWith you in prayer.
ReplyDeleteWe continue to pray for you all. I love thinking of you snuggling and singing with Andy Williams. The first notes of his "Sleigh Ride" are the official beginning of our Christmas music each year. He is the best!
ReplyDeletecontinuing to pray and intercede.
ReplyDeleteSo much love poured out for your family.... The Father's just giving you the gift of more precious moments and memories of her in your arms. Such a bittersweet gift from the Heart of the Father and the Son.
Praying and learning so much from you on how to mother patiently. Thank you for sharing the journey!
ReplyDeleteStill keeping vigil and praying on the hour.
ReplyDeleteHere from Megan's (ositively imperfect) blog. Sending you love and peace as you say goodbye to your precious daughter. Many thanks for the 22 beautiful years you had with her, but I ache with you for all the years your heart will ache for her until you are reunited.
ReplyDeleteI added Courtney to the list of those being prayed for at St. Timothy's Masses this weekend. We love you!
ReplyDeleteI added Courtney to the list of those being prayed for at St. Timothy's Masses this weekend. We love you!
ReplyDeletePraying for you continually. I have to wonder if she is waiting for Christmas or Christmas Eve
ReplyDeleteStill praying for you all and grateful to be able to join you in vigil here.
ReplyDeleteMary, I am a random person following your story on facebook. Please whisper in Courtneys ear to pray for me when she arrives in front of the Beatific Vision, Bridget
ReplyDeleteI found your blog through another Catholic blogger a few weeks ago and have been praying for all of you. My daughters and I prayed for Courtney at Mass this morning and also lit candles....4 in front of our Blessed Mother, 1 in front of St Therese and 1 in front of the Sacred Heart. We will continue to keep all of you in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you, your family, and particularly Courtney. It is snowy and cold here in North Dakota, but my heart has been warmed tremendously simply by reading your blog. Your words are so beautiful, Mary! My husband often walks in on me sitting by the computer, crying my eyes out, reading the latest blog post or the first few chapters of your story. I only discovered your blog recently and, quite honestly, since then, Courtney has been on my mind day and night. Thank you for sharing. Like so many others said, I will be here waiting vigil with you and your family.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you and your family for allowing us to witness Courtney's full and beautiful life! I continue to pray for each of you.
ReplyDeleteStill keeping vigil, my sweet Lenaburg's. We love you!
ReplyDeleteStill praying in Michigan ... may God have mercy on Courtney and her family during this vigilant time !!!
ReplyDelete