when life gives you lemons...

... make some lemonade, spike it with vodka, then drink the whole dam pitcher!!

Just when I thought that things were calming down after the last 72 hours...God brought me Thursday.

Oh Thursday...how could you betray me like this??

It all began with a crash at 5:02 a.m. when I was woken with the sound of breaking glass.

A burglar? A shelf falling off the wall? A bookcase crashing? I leaped out of bed and followed my hubby very cautiously into the living room were we found our wedding portrait smashed on the floor, glass everywhere. It had fallen off the wall. I had moved everything last week and apparently I didn't have it securely fastened. 


My husband took a deep breath and cleaned up the mess. Little did I know what was going to happen next. Broken glass was nothin baby!


Since I was wide awake I went ahead and started my day. Staring at my face the mirror set me off even more. I look like an apple is sitting on the left side of my face. Not what I would call an attractive look for me you know??

Whatever! I went on with the morning duties not ever really shaking that icky feeling. It was going to be one of those days. Fanfreakintastic!  Once we were out the door things continued to be rocky. Jerry went to work and Jonathan and I headed to the lab with Miss Court who had an appointment for blood work at 7:30. Due to our tardiness there was no time for a caffeine jolt. NOT a good start for sure. Me without caffeine first thing in the morning is just not pretty people.

We arrived on time and actually found a parking spot within 2 miles of the lab. Things were looking up or so I thought.

"Heeheehee" says fate. "I laugh in your general direction!"

It took 45 minutes to register MIss Court for two simple blood tests. 45 minutes!! What did I ever do to you Thursday?? Seriously?? Finally we were called back and the blood work was done. Then it was in the van, drop off paperwork at the docs office and then take MIss Courtney to school.

Traffic was tolerable and we arrived at her school about 5 minutes later.  I took her in. There were hugs and comments about my swollen face. Everyone kept making that "painful" squint.

Yes, I know my face is red and swollen. Thanks for noticing.

I kissed my girl goodbye and J-man and I were off. The plan was coffee first then I would drop him off at home so he could get his car and head to class and I had errands to run. As I was pulling in for the coffee I so desperately needed, I couldn't find my wallet.

I had left it in Courtney's backpack. Oh yea...the little hits keep on coming!


So after a barrage of colorful metaphors, my son graciously paid for coffee and I dropped him off so he could get on with his day. I turned around and headed back to Court's school to get my wallet. Then my phone rang.

Oh yea you guessed it...Court was seizing...4 minutes and counting...I drove faster and I wish I could say I prayed...but that would be a lie...I swore for another five minutes speeding my way to my girl, hitting the steering wheel, and yelling at God. For those of you saw me at that moment, you were wise to get in the other lane. Not pretty.

I arrived at school, ran inside and by the time I got to her classroom she was out of the seizure and sound asleep. Snoring actually. That's my girl.

I gathered her things. She had been at school less than two hours. Brilliant! I know, I know, I am a horrible mother. It's not Court's fault but I had several things on the "to do" list that were quickly moving to the "never gonna get done" list!

So I wheeled her to the van and just kept shaking my head. What else Lord? What else are you going to throw my way? 


You would think that I would know not to ask that question anymore. I never like the answer and I mean NEVER.

I drove home and stopped on the way at my friend C's for a desperately needed hug. I laughed, cried and got my hug. Courtney continued to snore, loudly. I made it home and thought this hideous could not get worse. Then the mail came and with it some really bad news for someone I love.

The day just kept getting better and better!!

You see what I mean...NEVER ask that question because something worse will happen. AHHHHHH!!

At this point I was pretty much catatonic. All I wanted to do was pack up my girl and move to a cave in the mountains never to be seen again. I wanted the world to leave me and my family the he** alone. I sat in my chair for about an hour and stared at the wall while eating an entire bag of white cheddar cheese popcorn. There was no mint chocolate chip ice cream left.

Then I decided to check my email and saw this from Grace Lines:

"Let us remember these great truths: (1) There is nothing, however small or apparently indifferent, which has not been ordained or permitted by God - even to the fall of a leaf.
(2) God is sufficiently wise, good, powerful and merciful to turn those events which are apparently the most calamitous to the good and the advantage of those who know how to adore and accept with humility all that his divine and adorable will permits." 
--Jean-Pierre De Caussade, S.J.


It's like God was saying "Hello Mary. How are you today?"

Mary - "Swollen and bitchy. You?"


God - "With you every step of the way. Trust me, all things work for the good."

Mary - HAH! Right!


Then there was a knock at the door startling me out of my very intense personal dialogue with God. I got up and opened the door surprised to find a sweet neighbor smiling back at me. She was just checking in to see if I was feeling OK and to check on the curly headed one. It was a lovely surprise.

Then a miracle happened. She handed me a half gallon of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream.


Seriously??? I mean I could just SEE it. God sitting back on His throne leaning over saying "Hey Jesus. Check this out. Watch and learn my boy. This is how it's done." 


The sun shone brighter and the birds began singing once more. God really does LOVE me!


Fine God. You win...AGAIN!

Thursday...your lookin a whole lot better now!
Mary