This morning started out so well. We took Courtney to see the movie "Brave" and she enjoyed all the hoopla, especially the bear. She started to talk back to the screen as loudly as the bear was speaking to her. It was wonderful.
Then we came home and things just went to hell in a hand basket.
The seizures came roaring back...one after another for about an hour. The new protocol established at Easter while in the hospital worked and things are calm once more.
She is sleeping soundly for now.
But that dreaded feeling has seeped back in and my heart is heaviy tonight.
I hate seizures! I hate them a deep abiding passion!! HATE them!!
She has been doing so well these past six weeks or so. She wakes up every morning with a smile. I am not kidding you, every single morning she has woken up with a smile. It has been so lovely to see her personality shine through as she has only had one small seizure a day since about two weeks after Easter. Jerry and I have enjoyed all of it. Hearing her laughter once more and spending as much time as possible snuggling with her and just trying to be in this moment with our girl.
You never know how long these times of peace will last, so you hold tightly to them and love her all the more.
So they are back. Those horrific, happiness stealing, life changing, breath taking seizures are back.
I have no idea what the days and weeks ahead will bring...but then I never do.
I will take each day as it's own.
I can do that.
I do do that...most days anyway...
I had just lulled myself into thinking that there was a miracle in store for us.
No more seizures...FOREVER!!
I guess we will have to wait for heaven to see that one...sigh...
I'm sorry, Mary.
ReplyDeleteMore prayers for many more Courtney-smiles are being said. Prayers for seizure free days too! Courtney deserves them and so do you!!
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